A Line in the Sand
by x-backtoblack-x
Summary: It had been five years since they'd seen one another last, and in that space of time a whole lot can change. Something a simple as a text however can leave everything upside down again, and leave Beca questioning who she really is.
1. Chapter 1

Beca/Chloe "Unfaithful" by Rihana. Beca feels guilty that she cheated on Jesse with Chloe, but can't help it.

_She's more than a woman and this is more than love;  
The reason that the sky is blue.  
But clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again,  
Because to him I just can't be true…_

Beca hummed Titanium to herself as her fingers glided across her keyboard, typing up the lyrics to the next big hit that would probably end up being sung by a one hit wonder and yet again fail to make Beca's career, but whatever. This wasn't the kind of career she envisioned herself having anyway, but it was all just a matter of working her way up. She was just a few years behind where she'd intended to be by twenty six.

Well, career wise anyway. She'd somehow managed to come in about ten years early with her personal life, already married with a beautiful four year old son to count for it, but then again an unplanned pregnancy the summer you leave college and a shotgun wedding will do that to you. Not that she complained, Adam was the perfect little boy that loved music almost as much as his mother did, and Jesse still adored her whenever he remembered that's what a husband was meant to do, so she couldn't complain really.

It was her phone buzzing manically in her pocket that drew her away from her keypad for a second, taking a break for the first time since she'd typed out the original draft – having spent the last hour making sure the beats were right and that it had enough swear words to have potential. The name that flew across her screen confused her for a second, but she slid the bar on her iPhone to view the text message in full anyway.

_Hey Beca, long time no chat. Look I just got a job in L.A and last I heard you were still out there, so I was wondering if we could maybe go for coffee sometime? It'd just be nice to have a friendly face in a big new city. – Chloe x_

It's not that the pair had simply lost touch when the older girl had graduated. In fact they became remarkably close in Beca's second year and especially in her third and fourth year when she and Jesse had broken up for a few months half ways through each of the years. Once Beca left for L.A and got pregnant and married all in the space of six months things just started to fall apart. It wasn't that they fell out, more that they simply couldn't keep up with one another, Beca with a new-born and Chloe with a new job in New York and Aubrey to look after as always – because that girl got nearer and nearer a nervous breakdown every time Beca got an e-mail or Christmas card from her.

Still though, every year a Christmas card was sent and one was received in return, each time with a lengthy essay on the inside about how their lives were going and what was new with them. As Beca typed out her rushed reply she couldn't help but smile.

_Yea sure, coffee tomorrow evening? I get off work at half five? _

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"So you're meeting her tomorrow?" Jesse asked later that evening, sitting on the couch as Beca emerged from Adams room, having just read the young boy his story and put him to bed.

"Yea after work… Just to catch up and stuff." Beca nodded. "I'm actually excited. It's been years since I've seen her." She added smiling.

"Yea about that… I don't want you to go." Jesse told her straight out, switching off the television in the background and turning to face his wife. "I don't want you to meet her, she's a bad influence."

"What?" Beca snorted. "Since when is Chloe a bad influence on anyone?" She queried, finding the image genuinely amusing.

"You know since when Beca." Jesse snapped, losing his cool at his wife's dismissal. "Since she managed to break us up twice in college." He reminded her.

"As far as I remember Jesse, the reason we broke up in college is because you couldn't keep your tongue to yourself when I wasn't around and ended up sticking it down a random girls throat." Beca retorted coolly, feeling a twang of pain spring up in her chest at the memory, though she pushed it down, not being someone that made a habit of dwelling on the past.

"Yea and she was the one that told you!" Jesse reminded her, apparently haven gotten over his own infidelity a lot easier than his wife had been able to. "And the second time we broke up it was because she convinced you that you could do better than me." He pointed out.

"Yea because I found out you were texting other girls… actually you know what, I'm not having this conversation Jesse." Beca authorized; an air of finality in her tone as she pinched the bridge of her nose, hating it when her husband shamelessly brought up the mistakes of his past and blamed them on others, the stench of his ego overpowering her in these situations. "I'm meeting her tomorrow for lunch, and unless she's done a complete three sixty change up in the last five years chances are I'll be meeting her again as well… so get used to me having a friend outside office hours." She concluded icily, before turning on her heel and stalking off to their room.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Oh my god Beca Mitchell!" The voice was from behind her, but Beca could tell without even turning who it belonged to, and a smile broke out on her face just before a pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders and the smell of strawberry shampoo transports her back five years to long evening spent falling asleep during films and getting help to cram for finals.

"Enthusiastic as ever for life, eh Chlo'" She quipped happily when the girl pulled away, sliding herself into the seat beside Beca at the two person table in the corner of a busy café. "Though it's not Mitchell anymore." She added.

"Oh don't worry; you'll always be Beca Mitchell to me. The girl with the perpetual inability to keep her opinions to herself and the love for music that was rivalled only by mine." Chloe told her, her smile staying firm as she seemed to drift back to a place and time when all this was true.

"Yea well, Beca Mitchells all grown up now." Beca sighed, still not one hundred per cent sure if this notion appealed to her or not. "I even have another human being to look after." She added with a concerned frown.

"Yea, a little human being that is literally the double of you!" Chloe joked, Beca being shocked she knew this for a moment before realizing that she'd continually sent pictures of him inside the Christmas cards for the last few years.

"Yea well as long as he doesn't cause me as much grief as I caused my mom then I'm sure I'll manage." Beca snorted. "You look great by the way." She added after a moment, meaning every word of what she said as she took a good look at the red head for the first time, still looking just as youthful and bubbly as she had done when they'd met nine years ago, her slim dancers figure and fresh complexion having improved if anything, with the only difference being she looked more expensive now, which was understandable seeing as she was bound to have gone up a pay grade or two in the last few years.

"Well, having nothing to do but work and exercise will do that to you." Chloe told her honestly, having had no real friends in New York, even with Aubrey only being an hour away on the train. "You on the other hand… like what the hell Beca, do you have no concept of aging or something?" She teased, looking the girl up and down, and finding no difference in her appearance since last time she'd seen her, the only apparent change having a child had had was slight bags under her eyes, which she managed to conceal well with eyeliner anyway.

"You should try keeping up with a four year old, contrary to popular belief that's the most effective form of exercise." She remarked.

Chloe snorted but didn't reply as the waitress came over to take their order, Chloe instantly jumping in and ordering for both of them, her own cappuccino and chocolate chip cookie being almost as easy an order to recite as Beca's americano and chocolate brownie.

Weirdly it was as if no time had passed at all. They sat and they talked, and talked and talked and drank three cups of their coffees of choice each and four whole hours later found themselves being glared out of the store by the one poor girl that was left waiting on them to leave before she could clean up and go home.

"Okay I'm still new at this whole LA thing… nearest taxi rank?" Chloe pondered, her arm linked with Beca's as they strolled down the footpath, neither of them being in a rush in the cool August breeze.

"Just around the corner, I'm parked near there so I'll walk you." Beca only half lied, her car actually being across the street, but feeling the need to walk her friend to the safety of a taxi she decided to tell a little white lie on the location of her own vehicle.

"We really need to do this again sometime." Chloe mused as they walked a little further; the taxi's now being in sight. "I'm pretty sure it's the most fun I've had in years." She added smiling.

"Same." Beca agreed absently. "It actually kind of felt like we we're both back in college again or something… it just feels natural to be around you I guess." She tried to explain awkwardly.

"I know what you mean." Chloe agreed. "Part of me was actually expecting this evening to be a little on the awkward side at first, seeing as we haven't really spoken in a while, but it wasn't… it was as if we've been getting coffee together for years."

"If we were that barista back there would have us both dead by now." Beca joked, causing Chloe to snort with laughter.

"So that's a yes to doing this again sometime?" Chloe smiled, leaning closer to the shorter woman.

"Definitely." Beca agreed instantly. "How does Saturday sound? Jesse's out of town for the night at some meeting, so you could come over and I could cook?" She offered.

"By cook you mean order a really good take out right?" Chloe frowned, having far too vivid a memory of Beca's attempts at cooking in college, the few times she'd been silly enough to let her.

"Whatever." Beca grumbled as they reached the front taxi. "Just be there at eight with some good wine and I promise I won't poison you." She told the other girl.

"Deal." Chloe laughed, swooping down and pulling Beca into an impromptu hug. "I'll see you Saturday." She added, before opening the front door of the taxi and hopping in.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"It's almost ten o clock." Were the first words Jesse said to her when she walked through the door, looking up from the spread sheets he had lying across the kitchen table.

"Yea I know, I just lost track of time, sorry." Beca mumbled in response, rolling her eyes at just how childish he was being about this as she threw down her handbag and keys on the kitchen island and sat in the chair across from Jesse to remove her shoes. "Adam's in bed?"

"Yea, he went at eight." Jesse informed her. "How was your evening?" He asked then, his voice seeming cold and distant when he spoke about it.

"Good yea, I had a lot of fun." Beca admitted, not feeling in the mood to fabricate a story about how horrible it had been simply to keep her husband happy. "It was really good to see her again after so long." She added with a smile.

"That's nice." He replied, his expressionless answer telling her he thought otherwise. "You two have plans to do anything again?" He asked then, the same disinterested expression on his face, though he kept an icy tone.

"No." Beca lied instantly, not caring for an argument at this hour of the night, and not seeing how it was any of his business anyway. "No we made no plans." She clarified, smiling tightly at him. "Want to go to bed?" She added then, feeling the need to change the subject quickly.

"I'd love to." Jesse smiled up at her genuinely. "After you m'lady." He added, taking her hand politely and guiding her out of her seat, causing Beca to roll her eyes and giggle.

_I say I won't be long just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell  
Because we both know where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well…_


	2. Chapter 2

Beca/Chloe "Unfaithful" by Rihana. Beca feels guilty that she cheated on Jesse with Chloe, but can't help it.

_Story of my life, searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul 'cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company…_

"Adam honey, please just brush your teeth for mommy… she has a friend coming over soon so you need to be in bed." Beca pleaded in exasperation as the young brunette sprinted in circles around the living room, giggling manically, toothbrush in hand, with no regard for his mother who was at the end of her tether after what had been a particularly shitty day at work.

In fact, being told a song you wrote was "too deep" was so shitty that if it was anyone other than Chloe that was coming over she'd probably have called off the whole evening and treated herself to a long bath and a night going through her old re-mixes and trying to find inspiration to finally do some new ones, but here she was instead, battling with a four year old to get him to do what was apparently the worst thing in the world for a child to do, brush their goddamn teeth.

"Noooo mommy, I not tired!" Adam screeched happily, still running in circles, though he was starting to veer off to one side now.

"If I catch you I'm going to tickle attack you." Beca threatened, taking a menacing step towards the four year old.

"Noooooo!" He screeched even louder, the young boy only getting more worked up now as he began to run around the couch giggling.

Beca chased him for a bit, but her desire to get him to bed so she could finish setting the table meant it wasn't long before she scooped him up in her arms and began to tickle him, the young boy screaming bloody murder as he thrashed and laughed in her arms.

She was just about to set the boy down on the floor so he'd actually do as he was told – tickling always having the ability to wear him out enough to want to sleep – when she heard the doorbell ring. Presuming it was the take away she ordered – because Chloe had gotten it in one, she wouldn't dare cook – she simply swivelled Adam around so he was now on her back, his arms locked around her neck and his legs tucked under her forearms, and trudged over to answer it.

"Chloe!" She gasped when she swung the door open awkwardly, having to bend to reach it so as not to throw her son over her shoulders. "You're half an hour early." She pointed out.

"Yea…" Chloe agreed, standing awkwardly in the porch, a bottle of wine in hand. "I figured it might take a while to get to your place and I didn't want to be late… though I may have overestimated... Sorry." She explained meekly, blushing down at her feet.

"No, come in, sorry, I was just… I was trying to get this Gremlin to bed." She explained; smiling now as she stepped aside to let the taller girl in, motioning with her head to the young child on her back, who was now shying away at the sight of new people – another trait he'd picked up from his mother. "Buddy, this is your mom's friend Chloe." Beca introduced, shaking a little so Adam had no choice but to peak out from behind her head.

"Hi…" He whispered, barely audible, but just loud enough to transform Chloe's heart into a pool of sunshine and rainbows as she broke out into a grin.

"Hey there Adam." Chloe cooed merrily, in a way really only she could. "I've heard so much about you from your mom, you like to sing huh?" She enquired softly, figuring it was the best way to build a brief rapport with the boy.

"Yea…" He agreed cautiously, giving her the once over before he decided it was safe to tell her more. "Mom learned me how to sing Bruno Mars… the song about the pretty eyes and hair." He elaborated, pointing at his own eyes as he spoke just in case Chloe wasn't sure where they were.

"I taught you…" Beca corrected softly, though she was smiling regardless as apparently it wasn't just her that Chloe was able to bond with instantly in spite of their social awkwardness, her son had seemed to find an instant connection with the woman as well.

"She did, did she?" Chloe asked in wonder, sending Beca a fleeting smile before looking back at Adam. "Can I hear some?" She asked in genuine wonderment.

"Kay…" He nodded before wriggling free of his mother's grasp and sliding off her back onto the floor, apparently needing a stage. "Her hair, her hair falls…"

"Perfectly." Beca whispered, smiling proudly.

"… Perfectly without her trying. She's beautiful, and I tell her that every day." He sung softly, not seeming to notice that he was paraphrasing the lyrics, looking up expectantly at Chloe when he finished his line.

"Wow!" Chloe giggled, breaking into a round of applause along with Beca. "You could be in an a-cappella group!" She told him, ruffling his hair.

"Don't listen to her honey." Beca warned, stooping down to her son's level. "Don't you worry, your mom will never let you join a group that makes music with their mouths just for fun." She promised, glaring playfully at Chloe. "Now go brush your teeth and call me when you're ready and I'll put you to bed."

"Can I have a song?" Adam requested, the boy usually receiving either that or a story from his mother when she put him to bed. "But can Chloe help sing it." He added hopefully, apparently being completely infatuated by the woman at this point.

"You mind?" Beca questioned with a frown, rolling her eyes when she looked up at her friend who was about half a second from turning into a puddle on the floor if the way she was trying to supress "awing" at Adam was anything to go by.

"No!" She replied almost too quickly. "I'll help you sing to him." She confirmed happily, watching then as the young boy sprinted off cheering.

"Well… I'm pretty sure he warmed to you quicker than he warmed to me." Beca grumbled watching her son go. "Then again he did spend the first year and a half of his life babbling incoherently, so I can't actually be sure." She added smiling fondly.

"What can I say, kids love me." Chloe laughed.

"Yea, you'd be a really good mom." Beca praised.

"That's the plan." Chloe agreed. "Someday anyway." She added after a moment of consideration, eyes flickering away from Beca's briefly.

They sang him Titanium of course, it being the one song they could both get into pitch with instantly, effortlessly falling into a natural rhythm a few lines in, serenading the young boy until his heavy eyelids finally closed. They sang on for another few lines before tapering off, the pair slipping out of the room and shutting the door just as the doorbell rang again, this time actually being the take away Beca had ordered.

"I was really hoping to pass this off as my own." Beca huffed, carrying the brown bags over to the kitchen table where Chloe had set out two plates, some cutlery and two wine glasses – Beca not even daring to question how she'd managed to locate all this in the time she was paying for the food, knowing it was best to just accept it.

"Please, you can barely cook toast; you really thought I'd believe you cooked three courses of Chinese food?" Chloe laughed as she took out the first dish of sweet chilli chicken.

"A girl can dream." Beca huffed, grabbing her own bag of spring rolls. "Though in saying that, I'm glad I didn't cook tonight either… I may have fallen into the pan and made it all a little less edible than usual." She admitted with a half frown as she sat in the seat opposite Chloe.

"Oh, tough day at the office?" The older woman questioned sympathetically as she poured them both glasses of red wine. "Because I'm still pretty ace at back rubs you know." She informed her with a smirk.

"God one of them would be good after dinner." Beca laughed. "Though yea, just one of them days where curling into a corner and sleeping or crying or something wouldn't go amiss." She explained with a sigh.

"You know you could have cancelled." Chloe told her. "As much as I was looking forward to this I would've understood if you were about to pass out." She joked.

"Yea but I was really looking forward to tonight as well… and it's probably the last chance I'll get for a while to actually invite you over to see the place; Jesse doesn't have a meeting out of town for months now." She explained, digging into her spring rolls, knowing she didn't have to mind her table manners around Chloe, who'd been unfortunate enough to watch her eat KFC several times in college.

"Okay without opening a can of worms… why is it that I'm not allowed to be here when your husband is?" Chloe asked frowning. "I didn't ask the last day because I just presumed you'd changed into one of them clingy people that couldn't be alone… though I did suspect that sounded fishy, and now I know why."

"I don't just want you to just be here when he's not." Beca responded far too quickly, not covering her tracks very well at all. "It's just… this suited best." She added lamely, knowing she really shouldn't even have bothered speaking form the way Chloe's eyebrow quirked.

"You better not have expected me to believe that, because I will become offended." Chloe offered simply. "Now where's my real explanation?" She added.

Beca let out a low breath. She really didn't want to hurt Chloe's feelings, but she also knew there was no way around telling her, plus she did deserve an answer.

"You're not exactly popular with Jesse." The brunette admitted slowly. "He's not really your biggest fan since you split us up twice in college. He thinks you don't like him and that you're bad news, so I shouldn't be around you… so he may or may not also think that I have no plans to meet up with you again."

"Hey that's not… that's not true!" Chloe shot back immediately, finding it hard to get behind her own lie.

"You don't have to pretend Chlo'" Beca laughed now, glad her friend hadn't been offended by Jesse's dislike for her. "I won't be mad at you." She promised truthfully.

"I'm sorry." Chloe admitted after a moment. "He's right… I'm not exactly his biggest fan. I just always thought you could do better back in college, no offence." She told her reluctantly, suddenly finding huge interest in the rice on her plate rather than in meeting Beca's gaze.

"It's okay, really." Beca snorted, realizing how uncomfortable her friend was. "You're not the one that has to live with him, so you're not the one that has to like him." She explained. "Plus you're right, in college I could have done so much better. Though I promise you he's changed since then, especially since Adam was born he really is great to me and him, and I do love him. Though anyway… I was too focused making really great friends in college to worry about how my douchebag boyfriend treated me." She joked.

"Damn right you were." Chloe agreed, brightening up instantly. "How do you do it though? Get married and be sorted out so well? I've never even been able to keep a relationship going for more than a few months, and I'm two years more mature than you!" She pointed out.

"Oh trust me, it's not_ half_ as easy as I make it seem." Beca quipped. "I mean look at the career I have compared to where I wanted to be by twenty six… Adam makes it all worth it though. The whole getting married so young thing might be something I'm still not one hundred per cent sure on, and it may never be, but I know that Adam's worth it. He's worth the not so great job and the "what if's" that I get sometimes." She admitted sincerely, looking over at the hall that led to her sons room fondly.

"He is a really great kid Beca." Chloe agreed. "You've done an amazing job with him so far." She praised, causing Beca to smile.

That was the end of the serious topics for the night though. The conversation flowing easily from topic to topic, from comparing who had the crappier job and why, to talking about which Bella's they'd kept in touch with – they both admitted to staying in contact with all of them through Christmas cards and the occasional e-mail, with Aubrey being the only one that Chloe still met up with and skyped regularly – the pair even dipping into a heated argument about their favourite David Guetta song aside from Titanium, but for the sake of their friendship didn't keep the topic up for very long.

It wasn't until later that night when they'd relocated to the couch in the living room and were curled up under throws and blankets, discussing what they'd do if they ruled the world for a day – wine never having been the best drink for either of them – that Chloe noticed the time on the clock above the fireplace and almost dropped her glass in shock.

"Jesus Christ it's half three." She spluttered. "No wonder I can feel my eyes closing."

"Dammit, you always could talk." Beca told her, equally shocked that they'd apparently had so much to talk about – though half of it was nonsense. "I mean… I'd say you could just stay here tonight, but… Jesse's home first thing tomorrow." She added then, realizing he actually wanted to stay up talking for longer but knowing she couldn't.

"It's fine, the taxi guy that left me here gave me his number so I can call him now." Chloe reassured her pulling out her phone, tapping it a few times before she held it up to her ear and explained where she was and where she needed to go to, then disposing of the electronic back into her pocket. "There, see, five minutes and it'll be like I was never here." She joked.

"Or it would be if you helped me tidy up." Beca suggested hopefully, realizing she'd have to do all that before she went to bed too, for fear of Jesse finding it and wondering why she'd ordered so much Chinese – this lie really was proving to be a lot of hassle.

"Yea… no." Chloe smirked. "Your house, your mess… I'll tell you what though, next Saturday when you come over to mine I'll tidy up and you can sit and watch me and laugh." She offered instead, standing along with Beca as she spoke, both now walking towards the front door.

"Next Saturday… I'm sure I'll manage that." Beca agreed with a smile, ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of her head that she actually couldn't accommodate this, telling herself that if it was really that important she'd know it right away.

"Good." Chloe told her happily as she pulled on her jacket. "And don't worry; I'll keep it our dirty little secret." She added with a wink, before leaning in and hugging her friend.

"Thanks." Beca replied with a crooked smirk. "I'll see you Saturday then." She added, opening the door for the older woman.

"Yea, night Beca." Chloe replied, before disappearing into the cool night breeze.

Beca shut the door with a soft click and leaned up against it. She shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't keep meeting with the other woman, and she certainly couldn't continue to lie about it to her husband, yet she was. It should be an easy answer for her to simply stop seeing the red head, or at least keep their meetings public and something Jesse at least had a notion of, but yet she didn't. She was deliberately keeping it from him and what's worse is that she wasn't even letting the guilt she felt stop her. She knew that by lying she was completely destroying the trust that had been so hard to build and rebuild in the time they'd dated, though for the first time it was her that was destroying it instead of him. She sighed to herself. This really was a sticky situation, and one she found she really wasn't all that eager to get out of just yet, much to her dissatisfaction.

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside…_


	3. Chapter 3

_And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying…_

"Hey Beca." Jesse called, coming out of the bathroom, tying his tie as he walked into the kitchen where his wife stood making breakfast. "You're still up for that company dinner I have this Saturday aren't you?" He questioned.

"The what now?" Beca called back, not realizing he'd entered the room, and jumping when she felt his hands come to rest on her shoulders.

"The company dinner this Saturday. It's a pretty big one." He told her again, grabbing a piece of fruit over her shoulder.

"Oh… I uh, I can't." Beca admitted reluctantly, glad he couldn't see the way her eyes bulged out of her head when she realized this was the thing she had on that meant she really couldn't go to Chloe's.

"Oh? Why not?" He questioned her, sitting at the table to check his briefcase making sure everything was intact.

She turned slowly, letting out a sigh. She really should just tell him. Rip off the band aid or whatever needed to be done. He'd be mad at her for lying sure, but she really should just tell him she was going to Chloe's… then she should probably cancel her diner with the red head and agree to go with him anyway, she was his wife after all.

"I have… I have a work thing; it'll run late, probably till eleven or twelve." She lied through her teeth, shocking herself in the process as her original plan to tell him went completely out the window.

"Oh right, that's fine." Jesse told her, smiling briefly. "Leave me as the only loner at the party; I'm sure I'll live." He joked, standing up then and kissing her softly on the side of the lips.

"If not I'll beat up anyone who dares make fun of you." Beca promised, smiling when he pulled back to hide the twisting knot in her stomach.

"My hero." He cajoled. "Tell Adam I said bye, and that I'll pick him up from soccer practice at five." He added as he turned on his heel to leave. "Love you." He called then, just as he was about to go out the door.

"Love you too." Beca called back, her face falling when she heard the door slam, wondering what the hell was getting into her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hey buddy." Jesse greeted fondly as Adam clamoured into the back of the people carrier, now big enough to put on his own seatbelt – or so he insisted. "Have fun at soccer?" He questioned, glancing briefly at his son in the rear view mirror as he pulled out of his parking spot.

"Yea… I almost got a goal!" The young boy enthused, seeming not to care that he was goalie on the team.

"Wow! Good job." Jesse laughed openly, having realized a long time ago his son would never really become a prodigy of any sort when it came to soccer. "Hey little man… Dad has a question for you." Jesse asked then, a frown briefly clouding his features.

"I ate all my lunch at school today!" Adam retorted automatically, knowing this was the one and only thing his parents ever had reason to scold him for as he had a horrible habit of going from one end of the school day to the next simply forgetting to eat and then crying when he got home because he was so hungry.

"No little man, not that… Though good boy, I'm glad you did." Jesse laughed, his features softening slightly. "The friend you told me about that mom had over when I was away at the big meeting in New York… are you positive that happened, or was it a dream?" He questioned the boy, trying to keep his tone from becoming too serious for fear Adam would pick up on it and think he was in trouble again.

"I dunno…" He responded simply, having only mentioned it in passing to his father originally. "She sang me a song with mom and she had really pretty red hair and I sang her the song about the pretty eyes and stuff." He explained again.

"That's okay buddy, I was just checking." Jesse explained, supressing a deep sigh, resisting the overwhelming urge to punch something.

"Mom laughed a lot when she was there…" Adam added a few moments later as an afterthought, unaware of just how much he was rubbing salt in his father's wounds. "Mom had a really pretty smile when she laughed at my new friend." He concluded, smiling himself at the memory.

This time Jesse couldn't supress the aggravated sigh, and it was all he could do not to punch a hole in the windshield of the people carrier as they cruised down the highway. He was being lied to. He wasn't sure where he stood with her, or even worse he wasn't sure that she really cared. She was being unfaithful, and he wasn't even sure how or why.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Beca was just leaving work as her phone buzzed frantically in her pocket indicating a text. She presumed it was Chloe and dug the phone out of her jeans, presuming the red head was putting in a specific wine request or something for Beca to pick up, seeing as the brunette had two hours to kill before she was due to be at her house – and not that Chloe wouldn't allow her to come over earlier, but there was no way the older woman was going to risk letting Beca interfere with her cooking.

She was shocked however, when she instead found the text to be from her husband, who really should be getting ready for his own dinner by now.

_Hey is there any way you can come home before your meeting? I need to talk to you before I go to this dinner, it's important. _

No hint to what it might be and no sign of emotion in the text worried Beca as she tapped out her reply quickly, already power walking to her car.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"What's up baby?" Beca called through the house when she came in the front door, pushing down the guilt she felt at simply wanting to have this conversation over her as quickly as possible.

"We need to talk…" Jesse replied simply, sitting at the kitchen table, eyes trained on her as she walked over and stood across from him. "Adam told me you had a friend over when I was away." He explained briefly, cutting right to the chase and watching his wife's face for a reaction.

"Yea… I uh, I had Chloe over." Beca admitted, knowing in her head she'd done nothing wrong, though the constricting feeling in her chest she usually associated with guilt told her otherwise.

"You uh… you told me you weren't going to be going out with her again." Jesse reminded her firmly, not wanting to seem like he was simply being a controlling douche. "You didn't need to lie."

"I didn't… I mean… I did." Beca concluded weakly, knowing there was no point in trying to talk her way around this. "Though maybe I wouldn't have needed to if you'd just accepted that she's back in my life." She snapped as an afterthought, her mind automatically going on an aggressive defence – because some things never change.

"Well Jesus Beca, I'm sorry if I don't like the people you're including in your life, but last time I checked I had the right to say it to you as your husband!" Jesse fought back, his voice raising an octave as he felt his anger bubble.

"You seriously aren't getting over this are you!" Beca laughed back bitterly. "Let me remind you that the only reason you hate Chloe so much is because she had the balls to call you out on your shit in college and you didn't appreciate it." She snarled.

"Yea exactly, but we managed to get over how much of an ass I was _together_." Jesse reminded her. "Though now she comes along and bam, apparently it's an issue again."

"Only because you're making it an issue right now!" Beca screeched in frustration. "You're the one that keeps bringing up how bad a person she is, not the other way around." She cried.

"Well… looks like everything comes full circle. Now you're the one sneaking about and lying." Jesse hissed, instantly regretting what he'd said when he saw the genuine hurt in Beca's eyes.

"If you think… for one second that I am going to stand here and listen to you of all people call me a home wrecker. A home wrecker after everything you put me through before Adam was born. Chloe is my friend, and here's one for you if you since I'm such a lying bitch, I don't have a meeting tonight. I'm going to her place for dinner." She seethed, eyes blazing as she backed away towards the door, stopping just before she reached it having apparently one more thing to add. "For the record Jesse, if I ever did cheat on you, I'd make sure it was with someone I had a connection with, and not some drunken frat girls with a higher blood alcohol level than IQ."

The next noise Jesse heard was the door slam and the ignition in Beca's car roar to life. He'd really messed up this time. He really couldn't just let her be her own person and he knew he was going to regret even attempting to have this conversation when his wife calmed down enough to come home.

_Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside…_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorrow in my soul 'cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company…_

Chloe was humming to herself as she stirred the pasta sauce in the pan on the stove, glancing every now and then at the clock above the door to make sure she was still in plenty of time to get changed into something other than sweats before Beca got here in an hour. Just as she decided she in fact would have time though, there was a thrashing against her front door, loud enough to cause her – and probably everyone else on her floor – to curse loudly.

She turned down the gas and half ran to the door, the banging becoming more frantic by the second, leading her to believe there could well be someone getting murdered out there that she'd need to save.

"Beca… What… What's going on?" She stammered upon opening the door to reveal the young woman, standing in the middle of the hall a manic look in her eye. "Are you okay? Did something happen?" She fired off, realizing she wasn't actually giving Beca a change to answer, reluctantly closing her mouth then and simply staring.

"No just… I just… Can I come in?" Beca sighed, seemingly too angry to form coherent speech at this point.

"Well yea… food's almost ready anyway I guess." Chloe joked awkwardly, not entirely sure what else to do in this situation, as Beca had never really been the kind of person to just pour her heart out to you if you prodded, it was all really just a waiting game with her.

"I'm sorry." Beca sighed after a long moment, still standing in Chloe's doorway. "I just… I needed to come over early, is that okay?" She groaned, starting for feel like a bit of an idiot now that she was actually here, not sure what her original plan had been after storming out of her house.

"Yes it's fine." Chloe laughed then, noticing the blush creep onto the other woman's face. "Just get out of the corridor before people start to come and investigate who was trying to break my door down." She added, only half joking, though it was enough to elevate the tension as a smile finally cracked on Beca's features as she stepped over the threshold.

"Yea… sorry about that too." Beca murmured once she was back inside, following Chloe back to the kitchen. "Though you know I'm only little, I wouldn't _actually_ have broken it." She added as means of an excuse.

"Beca Mitchell… I've seen you break bones with your left hook, I'm sure you'd break my apartment door if given half a chance." Chloe quipped, quirking an eyebrow at the girl who was now sitting behind her at the table.

"Yea… they normally deserved it though, your door probably didn't." Beca shot back defensively, shaking her head at just how wild she'd been in her early college days.

"I dunno, whoever you were imagining my door as probably wasn't in your good books at the time." Chloe commented subtly, her way of trying to prop open the closed book that was Beca Mitchell.

"I know what you're doing Beale." Beca laughed, aware from their years in college that trying to play it off as a joke was the only way Chloe knew to get information out of Beca. "And seeing as I almost cost you a door, and depending on my mood later may be staying here tonight I will tell you, just not yet… all this anger makes me hungry." She admitted.

"Fine… I guess I'll feed you first." Chloe sighed dramatically, smirking at her friend. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to teach you what non take away food tastes like." She added mockingly.

Non take away food was better, not that Beca would ever admit that to her, though Chloe could tell by the look on Beca's face every time she took a bite of the extravagant meal that was laid out in front of her – because if there'd been one thing Aubrey had made sure to teach Chloe it was how to throw a dinner party, even if it was only for two.

The conversation even remained relatively jovial, neither of them feeling the need to revisit Beca's grand entrance just yet as they wined and dined, the clock having gone well past half eleven before they finally rose from the table, wine glasses in hand, and relocated to Chloe's couch, this time sharing a blanket as Chloe lay herself out and threw her legs over Beca's lap.

"So…" Chloe started off, propping her head up on some pillows so she could still drink her wine without choking. "Care to share?" She ventured, not feeling the need to elaborate.

"Jesse was being an ass." Beca sighed out, gulping back half her glass when she spoke, not noticing the subtle smile that crossed Chloe's face for just a fraction of a second.

"Oh… how so?" The older woman prompted, keeping her expression and tone as neutral as she could manage.

"He found out you were over when he was away… he found out I was coming here tonight…" Beca murmured, running a hand through her hair. "He called me a liar. Him of all people to call me a liar. I just… I just lost it. I actually said some stuff I probably shouldn't have as well." She confessed sadly, remembering now why it was that she normally bottled up her emotions.

"Like what?" Chloe pushed further, knowing it was good for Beca to actually share every once in a while, or at least that's what she was putting her curiosity down to.

"I uh… we were fighting about how he treated me before Adam was born and I told him that if I were ever to cheat on him I'd make sure it was with someone I had a connection with… he wasn't exactly impressed." She admitted slowly. "Not that I'd really know, that was around the time I stormed out as well." She added, shaking her head.

"You never could control your temper, could you?" Chloe laughed openly, shaking her head. "Though what do you mean someone you had a connection with?" She asked then, again refusing to put it down to anything other than concern for her friend and maybe some natural curiosity.

"Well you know; not some random person at a party like Jesse did… It'd be someone I felt close to and felt like I could trust… like I duuno, you I guess." Beca explained, blushing slightly when she realized what she'd said. "Wow… time for me to stop drinking I think." She joked, leaning over to place her wine glass down on the table, for the second time not noticing Chloe's facial expression, this time it being a flicker of something in her eye that was gone by the time Beca looked up.

"You wish you could get with this." Chloe managed eventually, her voice being lower than she'd expected it to be, though Beca didn't seem to notice.

"Shut up I'm tipsy and in the middle of a domestic dispute, you're supposed to be supporting me, not teasing." She chided playfully, shoving her friends legs a little where they rested in her lap.

"Whatever." Chloe laughed. "So does this mean you're staying here tonight?" She questioned then, figuring that Beca had always been one of them people to run from her problems rather than face them head on, this being no different.

"Mhm… It's kind of our thing isn't it?" Beca laughed softly, letting her head lie back on the couch a little. "Jesse and I have a huge fight and I come to your place and crash for the night… except now I'm not in college and I have a son so really it just makes me lame." She added as an afterthought.

"Don't worry, I won't judge, just offer the warmth of my bed and a bunch of rom-coms for us to fall asleep in the middle of." Chloe promised, already lifting her legs off Beca so she could get up.

"God I missed you." Beca realized aloud, having never really noticed how much of a gap had been left in her life when she'd moved to LA until Chloe had come back to fill it.

"I missed you too Beca." Chloe smiled, rising with the brunette to lead her to her room, her facial expression for the third time that night going unnoticed as a blend of heartbreak and hope washed over her delicate features.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was long after the petite brunette had fallen asleep – somewhere about half ways through their third Jennifer Aniston movie – that Chloe began to contemplate just how much she had actually missed her.

As they lay there, not quite touching but so close that Chloe could hear Beca's soft shallow breaths, the first thing Chloe realized was how much she'd missed stuff like this. Their sleepovers and movie nights that accidently turned into sleepovers. It had been then they'd grown so close, falling asleep curled into one another side and waking the next morning just waiting for Beca to realize how close they'd gotten and pull away. Chloe eventually feeling her heart swell the day Beca woke and merely curled in closer, murmuring something about how Chloe's hair must radiate heat because this was the cosiest she'd ever been.

Her mind reeled back further into her Beca memories, the majority of which were kept in files that were to be opened when she needed to smile. The long hours spent practicing dance routines with the Bella's in Beca's first year, the way she managed to rope Chloe in to coming back sometimes to help the new lot of Bella's year after year. The way their subtle glances and soft brushes in that first year had escalated to tender back rubs after a hard day and long hugs of appreciation or just for comfort after a particularly gruelling practice – Beca of course insisting that she tripped and Chloe's arms had just been there to catch her each time.

They'd had their fair share of "moments" throughout their friendship as well. Chloe had found it weird at first, never having been caught in a long stare or past the point of acceptability hug with Aubrey or any of her other friends, but she quickly came to realize Beca wasn't just another one of her friends.

It had been in Beca's third year, and a few weeks after her first break up with Jesse. A game of truth or dare at a Bella's night – because yes, the original Bella's still tried to meet up when they could while the majority of them were still in college – and when it had come to Chloe's turn she'd been dared by Stacie to kiss Beca, which she'd complied to willingly – her intoxication probably having something to do with her enthusiasm.

It hadn't just been a kiss. It had been fireworks. Big clichéd fireworks going off in her face when they kissed. Both tipsy they'd giggled against one another's mouths as their lips moved together and Chloe could even swear she'd felt Beca's tongue slide across her lower lip, though she'd had no time to comply, Fat Amy pulling them apart seconds later insisting that they were to get a room or continue with the game, her comment garnering a laugh before Beca really did pull Chloe up to her feet, smirking at the stunned expressions on her friends faces as she led the red head away.

It had been quick, and alcohol fuelled, and while Beca was on a rebound from Jesse and Chloe wasn't even sure if she'd class it as sex. Looking back she wasn't even sure if sex had happened; her mind being fogged over by the vodka. All she'd knew was that it was hot and there was panting and one minute she was up against a wall and the next minute it was Beca, and when they'd come back to the game several minutes later she was fairly confident she was falling for the tattoo and piercing covered brunette.

Of course it was never talked of again – well the rest of the Bella's probably discussed it – and within the week Beca was back with Jesse, and sure they broke up once after that again but nothing ever happened. They never spoke about it, they never even joked about it, they just remained as friends until Beca left and they fell apart.

Now here they were again, five years later and up until the day they'd met for coffee Chloe was sure she was over her silly infatuation. As she lay in bed, Beca muttering something incoherent and rolling closer to her side, Chloe came to the realization that not only was she nowhere near over the younger woman, but that distance really did make the heart grow fonder.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"I really have missed this." Beca mumbled the next morning, having found herself having somehow managed to tangle herself in Chloe's limbs, their legs entwined her arms draped across Chloe at all kinds of weird angles. "Never tell my husband this, but you always were the best pillow." She added, smiling into the older womans side.

"Yea, well you're a pretty great blanket you know." Chloe replied, having just woken up herself, and finding she needed to tug on her arm a little before she managed to get it loose from under Beca's side so she could wipe the sleep from her eyes. "Want some breakfast?" She asked then.

"No, I should probably go, Adam will be worried if I'm not there when he gets home from school and I should probably talk to Jesse." She confessed, blowing out a breath as she rolled away from the red head, sliding out unto the hard wooden floor.

"Seriously, not even a coffee?" Chloe prompted, not even bothering to avert her gaze as Beca pulled on her jeans from the previous day – haven worn a pair of Chloe's tracksuit bottoms to bed.

"No, Chlo' don't tempt me!" Beca practically moaned as she pulled on her runners. "You know I can't resist coffee, but I really do need to go and talk things over with Jesse… make sure I still have somewhere to go home to." She added, only half joking.

"Fine, fine… next time then." She promised, getting out of bed herself now to walk Beca to the door.

"Whenever that is." Beca replied with a sigh as they left the room.

"What do you mean?" Chloe questioned, finding something not quite right with that sentence.

"Well come on, I mean when I go home chances are Jesse's still going to be mad about me coming over here. I need to at least pretend I've considered not hanging out with you anymore. Just enough to boost his ego again, then we really can do the whole coffee dates and movie nights thing again… I just need him to be cool with it first." Beca explained with a sigh, reaching Chloe's front door and turning to face the girl, a frown on her face.

"What?" Chloe questioned, feeling her heart sink as her sombre expression mirrored Beca's.

"I know… I don't want to either, but it's the best thing to do." Beca sighed, feeling like shit for just retreating out of Chloe's life like this.

"Is it the right thing to do though?" Chloe asked, taking a step closer in spite of herself. "Letting him just win like this, is it the right thing?"

"No." Beca concluded firmly, barely even needing to think. "But this is a marriage and sometimes you just need to bend. So no, it's not the right thing, but it's the best thing." She tried to explain, hating the pained expression on Chloe's face that she knew she was the cause of.

"Ever just want to not think of the right thing or the best thing or the easiest thing for a minute?" Chloe pushed her, feeling herself take another step towards the brunette, unwilling to lose her all over again having only just got her back in her life.

"If only it were that easy." Beca whispered, never breaking eye contact with Chloe, knowing that their intense proximity should make her uncomfortable, but as of yet not feeling any desire to move.

"It can be." Chloe murmured; her voice only just carrying to Beca's ear before her lips followed the sound, colliding softly with the shorter woman's.

There was a tense pause that could have lasted a second or could have lasted a year, Chloe didn't know, but all she did know was when it ended, and Beca began to kiss her back the fireworks were there again, exploding in all the magnificent glory that had been created the first time around only this time there was no alcohol and no tipsy giggling, just lust and passion and longing.

As if it were nothing more than a dream, or an idealized flashback to that night, it was over just as quickly as it had begun, Chloe's hand moving up to cup Beca's chin being all it took for the shorter woman to flinch away from her touch and from her lips.

"No." She breathed out, her eyes growing like saucers, and her lips swollen from the kiss. "I'm… Married… I'm married. No." She repeated dumbly, not quite being able to fathom what had just happened as she backed away, groping behind her for Chloe's door handle. "Fuck sakes Chloe, I'm married." She said once more before she disappeared, the bang of the door echoing in Chloe's ears being the only reminder of her presence.

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer._


	5. Chapter 5

_Story of my life, searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul 'cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company…_

She wasn't eating, she wasn't sleeping, and she was barely able to look her husband in the eye. It had been almost a week and still Beca hadn't been able to process what had happened. She still went to bed feeling the tingle of Chloe's lips against her own and fell asleep hating herself for letting the thought of Chloe's tongue sliding into her mouth be her last before her broken night's sleep engulfed her.

Of course she'd talked to Jesse when she'd gotten home that day, and left him shocked at how willing she'd been to his request that she stop hanging out with the red head; and of course she'd gotten a million texts since then from Chloe, begging her to talk so she could explain herself.

It's not that she didn't want to talk to her. It's that she needed to work it out for herself first and as of yet she hadn't quite been able to do so. She was still in the middle ground where her brain was trying to process what had happened. It was all she ever thought of, and the exact thought that was on her mind that day when she was jumped while leaving work, on her way through the car park in search of her car.

"Listen up Mitchell." Came the familiar growl as she was grabbed from behind, a hand coming up to cover her mouth so Beca wouldn't be able to scream, the figure dragging Beca into the alcove of the building for more privacy.

"What the fuck Aubrey?" Beca hissed the second the hand was taken away; not even needing to see who it was that had attacked her, that high pitched voice having scarred her for good years ago.

"I could ask you the exact same fucking question Beca." The blonde snapped back, taking a menacing step forward, seeming to increase their height difference. "Now I was never your biggest fan starting out, but you really warmed on me." She began, seeming to have calmed down, though Beca could sense the icy edge in her tone. "But now you've gone and fucked over my best friend, and that's just not on." She concluded, the iciness definitely having returned now.

"That's not what happened… she kissed me!" Beca snapped, anger flaring up now that she was cornered with no chance of running.

"Oh cut the crap Beca." Aubrey silenced immediately. "You kissed her back, I didn't even need to be there and I know you kissed her back and now you're being a dick about it and ignoring any attempt she makes at talking to you. You're avoiding her completely." She hissed.

"I'm not trying to avoid her. I just don't know what to say…" Beca tried to explain weakly, the intensity of Aubrey's stare wearing her down.

"Well think of something fast. She's heart broken." Aubrey sighed, still obviously angry but with an every growing subsidence of frustration and worry for her friend. "She ignored me all week. Texts, e-mails, Skype calls, phone calls… Jesus I mean I even wrote her a letter… like an on paper letter. I flew out her last night and she wouldn't answer her door either. Beca I thought she'd done something stupid, I mean I know, it's Chloe, she's not the kind of person that would get herself into a place that dark but I was genuinely worried. I got the landlord to open the door for me and I found her in there, just curled up in bed. Her eyes were raw with tears, like actually to the point where I had to put cream on them." She explained, running a weary hand through her hair and taking a step back, obviously no longer seeing Beca as a flight risk.

"I never… That's not…" Beca stammered, too shocked at what Aubrey was saying to actually think of anything intelligent.

"I know… For all your faults I know you'd never hurt her like that on purpose." Aubrey confessed, seeming calmer than she had had been when she'd first started to speak. "She just told me everything that happened, and how she'd been trying to contact you all week but you'd been ignoring her… I don't know if you know this Beca, but that girl's in love with you. Hell I don't even think she knew it fully until you walked away from her that night but she is and you need to sort this out."

"It's not that easy though…" Beca whispered, letting her head fall back against the wall. "I wish it was... But I'm married I can't just drop everything and run to Chloe… not that I'm even sure I want to." She confessed, her brain being filled with one hundred different emotions all at once.

"I'm not saying you leave Jesse. I'm just saying you talk to her, see if there's even a way you can be friends… or if there's a way you can help her move on... you just need to get her out of the place she's in now, because try as I may I don't think I'm the person to do it." Aubrey confessed sadly, obviously not being used to not being able to help her best friend.

"I'll talk to her." Beca agreed then, knowing that even though her feelings weren't yet clear in her head she owed it to Chloe to at least try. "I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"Good… you better." Aubrey nodded promptly, evidently proud of the progress she'd made by jumping the younger woman. "And it better be tomorrow because I was only able to book a week off work, so it needs to be sorted in some way before I go home." She added.

"God forbid I'd impose on your schedule Aubrey." Beca bit back sarcastically, rolling her eyes at the blonde.

"I'd think you'd be used to it by now. It's what you've seemed to have aimed your life towards thus far." Aubrey snapped back, none the less smiling before she turned to walk back towards the open car park. "Be there tomorrow Beca, or so help me god I'll make your life a living hell." She called over her shoulder sweetly, giving a one handed wave before disappearing out of the alcove.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Beca still wasn't sure what to do as she lay on the couch that night contemplating the next day, having felt like she was betraying Jesse just by thinking over what had happened between her and Chloe and how she was going to sort it out while lying next to him in their marital bed.

She knew Aubrey was right, she had kissed Chloe back; she just wasn't sure what it meant. Could it be that she actually did have feelings for her? Or had it simply been one of them caught in the moment situations?

No… she knew it wasn't that. If it had been the heat of the moment simply making her forget herself then there wouldn't be the fact that this wasn't the first time they'd kissed to take into consideration. Once you forget yourself, twice and it's a whole lot more than just a Freudian slip.

She'd actually trained her mind into forgetting about that game of truth or dare, and for six years she'd been doing pretty well. Though now as she finally did re-open that sealed vault she realized that perhaps her kissing Chloe back had been a lot more deep routed than a momentary desire. The night it had happened there was no doubting she was drunk. Not only did she kiss the girl but she'd led her off, she'd initiated what had happened next. She'd enjoyed what had happened next.

Of course she'd panicked straight away and met up with Jesse the second she was over her hangover to tell him she'd take him back, and of course she'd lied when Fat Amy and Aubrey had cornered her the next day and asked for details, and of course she'd made a point of never acknowledging it in front of Chloe ever again, and gradually it had just gone away and faded to a distant memory. Now though, as she revisited it in her mind she felt herself slowly draw to somewhat of a conclusion to the question she'd been asking herself all week.

She did like Chloe, she really liked Chloe, or she had anyway all them years ago in college, and she did again now all these years later, she just hadn't paid attention. She hadn't realized up until now why exactly it was that she was so eager to see the red head after so long, why it was that she felt compelled to see her again against her better judgement and her husband's wishes, why she'd responded to the kiss so readily until her common sense had kicked in and she'd pulled back, but she knew now and it scared her to admit it to herself but she had to, because tomorrow she really had to face this, even if the simple answer she'd been hoping for wasn't really there.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Beca was very aware of the fact that she could simply turn around and race back to her car, yet there she was outside Chloe's apartment door, glued to the spot, contemplating every possible result of this meeting in her head, none of her scenarios having a positive outcome for her.

She was half ways through a scenario of her possibly escaping through Chloe's sitting room window and hopefully landing on her feet from the three story drop when she heard the lock turn in the door and instead chose to brace herself for the worst. Instead of the red head though, it was Aubrey that greeted her on the other side.

"You're not going to attack me again are you?" Beca questioned when she saw the blonde, her wit being easier to flow today as at least the conversation was somewhat on her terms this time.

"Come inside and I won't have to." The other woman replied curtly, stepping side to let the other woman in. "Thanks for coming." She added, actually sounding genuine which made Beca realize just how bad Chloe must be.

"Of course… I was going to anyway though you know." She felt the need to defend even though she wasn't sure that was a hundred per cent true, and hating herself for leaving it this long, especially when the answer had been there all along. "Where is she anyway?" She added as an afterthought.

"Work… She's missed all week so far but I made her go in today." The blonde explained with a shrug. "Though she should be home in about an hour or so… so you can wait here, I'm going out to see a movie… or two." She added, her way of letting Beca know she wouldn't be interfering, even though it was what she lived to do.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was actually a lot longer than an hour, and Beca was just about to ring Aubrey to check if Chloe was actually coming home when she heard a the lock in the front door turn, and she stood abruptly from the couch, bracing herself for what was to come as she waited for the red head to come through the door.

"Hey Bree, I got some wine and… Oh my god." Chloe gasped; her grip on the shopping bag going loose as it crashed to the ground around her and the bottle of wine flooded the floor, the red head failing to notice however as her eyes met Beca's and locked in place. "What…?" She uttered simply, being lost for anything else to say.

"Hey…" Beca greeted meekly, all her brave plans evaporating now that she was actually faced with the reality of the situation.

"Hey… Beca, hi." Chloe responded automatically, obviously trying to compose herself quickly. "Long time no see. Want a glass of… well, not wine now, but anything else?" She laughed looking down at her feet, looking anywhere other than Beca really.

"Chloe stop." Beca found herself scolding suddenly, watching as the red head went to make a move towards the kitchen to get Beca a beverage. "We can't… We can't pretend it never happened, we need to talk." She told her firmly, finding her confidence again as she took a brave step forward, still nowhere close to the girl, yet knowing that it had the desired effect when she saw Chloe's façade drop.

"I didn't think talking was the done thing. Isn't it more like we kiss then you run back to Jesse and we pretend it never happened?" Chloe snapped out of nowhere, shocking herself with the menacing edge to her voice. "Sorry..." She added in a mumble, having had no intention of offending Beca, her frustration over the events of the last few days having simply boiled over.

"No, don't be." Beca sighed, knowing she'd fucked up when she'd actually managed to make Chloe mad. "You're right. That is what happens, it happened in college and it's probably what would have happened this time too if Aubrey hadn't beaten some sense into me." She confessed, feeling no need to try and sugar coat how much of an idiot she'd been.

"So you're saying if it wasn't for Aubrey you wouldn't be here?" Chloe asked slowly, feeling her chest sink in the realization that this was probably just Beca's way of letting her down gently.

"Yea that's what I'm saying." Beca nodded in agreement. "But not for the reasons you might think." She added hastily, noting the look of resignation on Chloe's face. "Please, just sit with me so we can talk." She added, motioning towards the couch behind her.

"Okay…" Chloe responded weakly, simply nodding her head as she stepped over the smashed wine bottle towards the couch, perching herself as far away from Beca a she possibly could.

"When you kissed me, I freaked out, just like I freaked out in college when we had a drunken one night stand because of that stupid game of truth or dare." Beca confessed. "And until now I thought I freaked out because you're like my best friend and that would be weird and because in college it was me that initiated it and when you kissed me I responded and that was weird, but that's not why. That's not the reason I freaked out Chloe and it wasn't until Aubrey forced me to _really _think things over that I figured out the actual reason. I like you Chloe. I really like you a lot and I think somewhere in that mess that we called college I may even have loved you and if I really let myself think about it I may even love you now and that scares me." She admitted quietly.

"Because you love Jesse too, right?" Chloe sighed, not particularly wanting the brunette to say it herself.

"I think so." Beca nodded, feeling less sure of herself now than she'd felt entering the apartment.

"You think?" Chloe questioned, moving just a fraction of an inch closer to Beca in spite of herself. "You only think?"

"Yea… I guess so." Beca mused, eyes seeming dazed as she continued to stare at Chloe. "Jesse's always just been there you know, practically since my first day of college. It was just so much easier with him, he was a guy, I was a girl, there was none of the awkwardness or the uncertainty and now he's married to me and we have a son, and I guess I must love him, or I must something him anyway and it's just so much easier." She spewed out, not entirely sure if her words made sense.

"So why are you here then? If with Jesse it's just easier." Chloe prodded her, her mind racing all over the place as she tried to make sense of what was going on.

"I'm here because when you came along again everything stopped being easy." Beca confessed. "Everything just stopped being simple and linear and right and I think there's a reason for that that I just can't control. Do you know the Johnny Depp quote? It's something like if you're in love with two people then always chose the second one because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second… that's how I feel. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you in college because I had Jesse, and I certainly shouldn't have fallen for you again now because I'm married to him, yet here we are but I don't know what to do, because like I said, it's not easy, if anything it's messier than I ever imagined my life could be." She sighed in frustration, still not sure if her explanation was in any way coherent.

"So… what is it you're trying to say?" Chloe asked, suddenly hopeful.

"I… I don't know." Beca sighed evenly; running a hand through her hair as she suddenly lost her nerve again. "This was… this was a mistake Chloe I have to go… Jesus I really have to go." She informed the other woman frantically, rising to her feet and making a run for the door before the other woman had a chance to stop her.

"Beca Mitchell don't you dare walk out on me again." Chloe snapped, haven risen to her feet almost as fast as the shorter woman and being just half a pace behind her, managing to slam the door shut with the palm of her hand when Beca tried to swing it open.

"Chloe I…" Beca stammered ruefully, looking up slowly to meet her eye.

"No." Chloe whispered. "Don't you dare run away from me again." She scolded softly, pushing Beca up against the door as she spoke and letting their lips slam together once again, refusing to remove them until she felt the younger woman finally let her walls down and kiss her back again.

It was electrifying, and this time when Chloe moved her hand up to cup Beca's cheek the other girl didn't pull away, instead intensifying the kiss, grabbing Chloe's hips and pulling her closer, Beca now being sandwiched between the red head and the door as Chloe's hands began to run up and down her sides, wanting to feel as much of the brunette as she could.

"I… really… shouldn't." Beca moaned eventually, breaking her lips away from Chloe's just enough to speak, never fully breaking the kiss.

"I really don't care." Chloe admitted without reservation, taking full advantage of Beca's mouth being open as she slid her tongue in, pushing the small woman harder against the door.

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun  
And put it to his head  
Get it over with…_


	6. Chapter 6

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun  
And put it to his head  
Get it over with…_

It was a flurry of hands and mouths and before the two women knew it they were back at the couch again; Beca shoving Chloe down hard against the soft material, their tops somehow having gotten lost along the way, their jeans not being far behind. There was no alcohol involved this time, and both women found this a blessing, now able to take their time remembering each curve and dip of the other, their hands exploring their scantily clad partner slowly, then frantically then slowly again, their kissing and biting along one another's necks following suit with this rhythm.

Beca was first to advance their situation, Chloe not daring to push the younger woman further than she may be willing to go, ripping Chloe's bra and lace underwear off her before she had a chance to comprehend what was happening.

"I never noticed how beautiful you were last time." Beca whispered breathily, pulling away from where Chloe was biting softly against her collar bone, drawing herself away from the other woman's naked form to take it all in, eyes raking appreciatively over her smooth toned form.

"We've seen one another like this before." Chloe replied, voice husked from passion, chest heaving ever so slightly as she thought back to the time in the shower in first year, and the handful of times since then they'd been in near naked situations together.

"No…" Beca corrected, her eyes soaking in the exact way Chloe's breasts moved when she took a breath, the way her eyes seemed a deeper more piercing blue when filled with passion, the way her lips puckered and her cheeks pinked, the way her hair lay mused around her and the way a thin layer of perspiration was beginning to glimmer on her skin. "Never like this." She murmured, before swooping down and capturing her lips.

The younger woman let her hand move of its own accord then, down the length of Chloe's body to the pool of wetness between her legs, the other woman gasping when two fingers were plunged into her, though she was quick to respond, soon having created a frantic needy rhythm that quickly had her tumbling over the edge of orgasm. She lay panting for several moments, letting the waves of pleasure wash over her. In this time however Beca's lips had managed to find her pulse point, and she wasn't long responding to the pleasure, returning the favour as she let her hand travel down Beca's body, rubbing her first before inserting her own digits in her folds.

Several minutes later the pair simply lay there, Beca on top of Chloe, their legs tangled and their arms wrapped around one another, both trying to catch their breath. Eventually Chloe reached down, grabbing the throw that had somehow ended up on the floor beside the couch and throwing it over them, providing slightly more warmth than their body heat alone.

"What now?" Chloe asked after several quiet minutes, hating herself for breaking the silence, especially with such a loaded question, but knowing that for her own sanity she needed an answer sooner rather than later.

"Now we just lie here for a while…" Beca whispered against the ridge of Chloe's ear. "We lie here and we pretend that nothing else matters for a while, and pretend that I don't have to get up and leave." She sighed, running her hand up and down the length of the other girls arm, catching herself wishing that this didn't have to be for a while.

"So you are leaving then." Chloe clarified, knowing that this would probably come, though still feeling the disappointment rush through her like an angry crashing wave.

"Do I have any other choice?" Beca sighed, shutting her eyes tight in the hope that it would make the hurt in Chloe's voice magically disappear.

"Would you believe me if I said you did?" Chloe questioned softly, letting herself subconsciously wrap her arms tighter around the younger woman and pull her impossibly closer to her.

"No." Beca replied, her voice almost inaudible through the heavy sigh she let out. "Maybe someday I can believe you, but I can't now… I just… I…" She stammered helplessly, each word hurting her more and more as she felt Chloe hold her tighter and tighter.

"I know." Chloe cut in eventually, her brain hurting from Beca's apologies. "I know." She repeated again, figuring it was best just to let the inevitable reality of the situation hit her rather than try and run and hide from it.

"You can be mad." Beca told her truthfully, knowing she would be too. "What I'm doing is wrong and you're getting hurt, so you can be mad." She promised, not actually wanting the other woman to hate her or be angry with her, but knowing it's what she deserved.

"Maybe I will be later." Chloe shrugged, oddly feeling none of this emotion in here at the present time, figuring she was simply too emotionally exhausted for a feeling so heavy right now. "All I want now is to lie here for a while like you said, and just forget that this moment can't last forever."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Aubrey came, smiled sadly at the pair, and left again without a word and still they lay there, wrapped in one another's arms, neither talking as they simply let their hands trace shapes in the other's skin, content with nothing but the sound of the others breaths.

There were moments when Chloe even managed to trick herself into believing that it was forever, and they'd just never have to leave, but reality was never far away, and it was sometime after ten, when Beca stopped tracing the shapes in her side that she knew what was about to happen. She felt the younger woman untangle their legs and felt her heart break when skin on skin contact was lost as the brunette propped herself up on her elbow.

"He'll be up waiting for me." Was all Beca could say as she tore herself away from the red head, feeling her heart drop to the pit of her stomach as the cold hair suddenly hit the newly exposed skin that had previously been protected by Chloe.

"I know." Chloe nodded sombrely, trying not to sound like what was happening was hurting her as much as it truly was; knowing she was failing at this when Beca turned to stare at her, pausing in her attempt to put her clothes back on.

"I hate me too…" She admitted simply, Chloe able to see moisture forming in the corner of the other girls eyes.

"I don't hate you." Chloe assured her, picking the girls top off the floor and placing it softly in her lap. "That's the worst part. I can never hate you for this… for any of this." She revealed, resting her hands on Beca's hips as she spoke, not ready yet for loss of full contact.

"That makes it worse, doesn't it?" Beca retorted bitterly. "If you could at least hate me for what I'm doing then I'd be able to deal with it… it's the fact that I'm hurting you so much… I'm hurting everyone so much, and yet all I get is this love I don't deserve."

"You Beca Mitchell deserve love." Chloe corrected her firmly. "And this situation… this situation isn't ideal, and you're right, we're all getting hurt by it, but I still promise to love you, and be waiting here next time and the time after that." The red head stated, kissing Beca on the shoulder.

"Next time…" Beca repeated, a twisted smile engulfing her features for the briefest of moments. "I wish there didn't have to be one of them. I wish… I don't know what I wish. I wish we'd never met up again, or I wish I'd never married Jesse, or I wish I really could just stay here forever… I wish there were a way this could all just work itself out." She admitted with a dry humourless laugh.

"Well until you find a genie in a bottle I'll be here." Chloe promised. "Because all I know is that this makes sense, being here with you makes sense, and even if right now it's only part time, and even if that's all it'll ever be, it's what I want and what I need and what I crave… So I'll be here, always."

"You're so much more than I deserve right now." Beca told the other woman, rising slowly from the couch and having to physically contain herself from wincing as Chloe's hands fell away from around her waist.

"Just promise you'll never be a stranger Beca." Chloe sighed, watching as the shorter woman pulled on her top and jeans quickly. "All I need right now is for you not to forget that I'm here."

"I promise." Beca responded simply, not trusting herself to keep talking as she felt a lump rise in her throat. "I promise…" She whispered again, swooping down once more to kiss Chloe softly on the forehead before walking to the door, leaving without looking back at the red head, and managing to make it to the elevator before the convulsions of hot angry tears took over her body.

_I don't wanna do this  
Anymore, anymore…_


	7. Chapter 7

_I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss up on my cheek, he's here reluctantly  
As if I'm gonna be out late…_

"_Well?"_

The text was simple and to the point, nothing presumptuous or daring about it, yet reading over it filled Beca to the brim with apprehension, eyes darting around her living room before she typed her hasty reply.

"_Tonight. Jesse's away."_

Beca's reply was just as brief, yet loaded with a promise she wasn't sure she could keep. She wanted to see Chloe yet the thought of what would inevitably happen made her stomach churn and self-loathing emit from every pore. She wanted so desperately to find a way around it but for now it was all she could do to keep herself together as she became more and more caught up in her lies.

The brunette, instead of thinking over every possible repercussion of her actions again, as she had been doing since the night at Chloe's two days ago, instead deleted the two text messages and stuffed the phone as far into her pocket as she could, praying that the "out of sight out of mind" mantra really would be true for once.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"So you're meeting her again?" Aubrey questioned, pacing the room at a rate only Aubrey could achieve, glancing occasionally at her best friend who sat cross legged on the couch, a somewhat pained expression on her face.

"Yea… tonight." Chloe repeated for the third time since she'd shown Aubrey the text five minutes ago, getting tired of just how unhelpful her friend was being. "Yet you still haven't managed to give me your opinion." She reminded her again.

"That's because I'm trying to think how to word my opinion without crushing you're newly open and loving heart." Aubrey explained, the restraint she was showing by not snapping at her friend right now shocking even her.

"That's reassuring…" Chloe muttered, knowing if there was one thing she could always count on Aubrey to be it was honest, even if at times like now she really wished that wasn't the case.

"I just…" Aubrey sighed in exasperation, pausing momentarily to collect and word her thoughts properly. "I think what you're doing is tactless and immature and…" She paused again, this time trying to think of a word that wasn't "stupid" to fill her blank.

"Wow... I'm really glad I didn't hear your non-thought out opinion." Chloe deadpanned, feeling like she'd just been slapped across the face at Aubrey's admittedly true, yet none the less painful words.

"Sugar coating was never my strong suit." Aubrey defended with a shrug, coming to a slow stop of her previous pacing to stand in front of the red head, making intense and direct eye contact. "You love her don't you?" She asked, the way she spoke telling Chloe she was really to think of the answer to this, and not just go with the obvious truth.

"I do." Chloe nodded after a long pause, actually doing what she knew her friend had silently requested and think over the entire meaning of what it was to love Beca, to love a married woman. "I love her so much Bree, and I know that it's bad, like really, really bad for me to love her because she's not going to be able to do the same. She's not able to give all of herself to me like I have to her, because she's married, and she has a family and even if I wanted to, I could never destroy that for her. I don't want to be a home wrecker in all this; I'd never tell Jesse or try and break them up. All I want to do is love Beca for the rest of my life, and I know that right now the only way I can do that isn't exactly ideal to say the least… but it's all I've got so I'm just clinging to it for now until I find something better to do." She vented, burying her head in her hands when she was done, trying in vain to hide the glimmering tears that were streaking down her cheek form her friend.

"This is messed up Chlo'." Aubrey whispered, none the less coming to sit beside her friend when she noticed the tears and the strain in her voice, wrapping a supporting arm around her shoulders and hugging her close to her side.

"You think I don't know that Bree…" Chloe sighed, leaning further into her friend, letting the blonde support her weight. "You think it doesn't keep me up at night." She added in a whisper after a brief pause.

"Doesn't matter what I think in the end though does it." Aubrey sighed, having given up on trying to talk her friend out of the situation which was only ever going to end in heartbreak. "At the end of the day you love her. You love her and she loves you and in another life you'd have been happily married to her by now and Adam would have been a little boy you adopted, or that you carried or something, because I could never really see Beca as a pregnant lady, and you'd be living in that house in the LA suburbs with her right now instead of Jesse, and you'd still have your awesome bio-medical science career or whatever it is you do because I'm still not quite sure, and Beca would have the job she always wanted instead of having had to settle for writing other peoples songs… though of course the girl with the ear monstrosities in college had to go and freak out when you two slept together and run back to Jesse and end up knocked up at twenty one." The blonde ranted, feeling an urge to have her final say in the matter, even if she was being supportive now.

"You're a dick, you know that." Chloe murmured into the blonde's side, shoving her playfully. "I hadn't even considered how perfect my life would be right now if Beca hadn't gotten cold feet in college… you're a dick." She repeated sadly.

"I like to try and keep it real and all that." The blonde laughed softly, tilting Chloe's head up with her free hand until they were looking one another in the eye. "It hasn't stopped you though, has it?" She questioned, already afraid she knew the answer.

"Nope… thanks for trying though." Chloe replied with a shake of her head, genuinely appreciating the concern her friend had for her, yet knowing it was to no avail.

"Well just know, even when I do go back to San Francisco on Sunday, I'm only ever a phone call or a skype call or a plane ride away." She promised with a supportive smile. "And even though my life's fairly well sorted out, I'll always be here to pick yours up for you." She added with a smirk.

"Like I said… a dick." Chloe huffed, shoving the blonde again, who was now laughing fully at her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Okay am I sure I have everything?" Jesse questioned himself out loud, giving himself the mandatory pat down to check for keys, wallet and boarding pass as he stood in the middle of the hall.

"Well you were fairly sure the first, second and third time… my bets on you being sure this time too." Beca teased playfully as she lent against the kitchen door frame smiling in amusement at her husband as he checked to make sure he was ready to go for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

"Hey… no mocking! You know I need at least a month's advance notice to prepare for an out of state trip." Jesse reminded her, feigning hurt at his wife's words.

"I know, I know. God forbid the big bad men at your office would only give you a week to get ready!" Beca gasped in horror. "It's as if they don't know my darling husband has the worst case of OCD known to mankind." She added, shaking her head sympathetically.

"You know sometimes I get the feeling you're being sarcastic with me." Jesse informed her, mocking confusion as he walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Sarcasm? I'm sorry I'm not familiar with the concept." Beca told him, smiling up as he shook his head at her laughing.

"Yea, I thought you were too innocent to know what it was… forget I said anything." Jesse corrected, leaning down then and capturing her lips in a brief tender kiss. "Tell Adam I love him and I'll see him tomorrow evening when he gets back from his friends." He added, pulling away slowly from Beca, seeming pained at the thought of breaking physical contact.

"I will, and I told him you're gonna call him tonight, so you have his friend Peter's house number right?" Beca double checked, letting Jesse link their fingers briefly.

"Saved in my contacts safe and sound." Jesse promised with a smile. "Now, I really have to go or I'm going to miss this stupid flight to stupid Texas." He added mournfully, breaking their linked fingers and stepping towards his overnight bag.

"Go get 'em you big advertising person you." Beca joked. "You show Texas why your add pitch is the best!" She called supportively as he walked towards the door, his bag slung over his shoulder.

"I don't know what I'd do without your support and encouragement." Jesse called back, turning when he opened the door to look back at his wife. "I love you, and I love Adam too… see you tomorrow evening." He reminded her sincerely.

"I love you too, and yea, see you tomorrow." Beca replied with a small quirk of her lips, waving as he shut the door behind him with a crisp snap.

It wasn't until she heard the engine of Jesse's car roar to life from the driveway that she let her figure slide down the door frame then until she felt herself hit the floor. She dug her phone out of her pocket and before she had any time to second guess herself or reconsider or perhaps even call the whole thing off she typed out the simple message and hit send, watching as the delivery report flashed on her screen. She really hated herself for doing this. The way her and Jesse had been recently, so happy and so fine together, just like it used to be before the red head had come along.

Fine though. That was the word she used when describing their relationship. So as the reply from Chloe saying she'd be over soon pinged on her phone and she felt her face break into a smile in spite of itself she wondered just for a second if settling for fine with a side of amazing was the best option for her, and if not, which would she pick if she could only have one?

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer…_


	8. Chapter 8

_A lie I didn't have to tell  
because we both know where I'm about to go  
and we know it very well…_

Beca didn't move from her position on the floor until she heard the doorbell ring about twenty minutes later. She'd let her mind wander to what could have been. What would have happened if she'd never married Jesse and raised Adam on her own, sure it'd have been tough, but she'd be free to love who she wanted right now; or even where she'd be if she hadn't met Chloe, happily married with a loving husband and son, never knowing what could have been.

As she rose from the floor and made her way to the door she couldn't decide what would be a scarier concept for her to imagine, life as a single mother raising her son on her own with the little boy never quite sure on who his father was in life or life without Chloe, the one person that made Beca feel more alive and more safe than anyone ever had before.

"Well hey there." Chloe greeted enthusiastically once Beca did open the door, the shorter woman not being able to help herself from letting her grin match that of the enthusiastic red head. "Now don't get too excited, but I may or may not have brought my entire friend box set and a bottle of wine, so if you have popcorn I think we may be having us a party tonight." Chloe told her with a straight face, holing out the bottle of wine to indicate she was serious.

"Come here." Beca murmured in return, still smiling goofily at the taller woman as she pulled her over the threshold, closing the door behind her with one hand and using the other to grab Chloe by the back of the neck and pull her close, fusing their lips together with intensity and desperation, humming contently against Chloe's lips as the other girl began to match her force and kiss her back.

"Or you know… we can say hi like that." Chloe laughed breathily when they eventually broke apart, resting their foreheads together. "I actually think I prefer your way come to think of it." She added, not needing to consider it much before drawing her conclusion.

"Shush, you're ruining a moment." Beca whined, tugging on the collar of Chloe's black jacket to pull her into the house further. "You and your constant talking." She huffed, kissing the red head once more on the side of her mouth before wrapping her up in a hug, Beca burying her face into the crook of Chloe's neck.

"You okay there?" Chloe queried, none the less wrapping the petite brunette up in her arms and holding her close, her concern stemming from the fact that in spite of the intimacy of their relationship Beca wasn't really one for hugging out of the blue like this, cuddling yes, and even a hug of support, but never a full on "hold me" type situation.

"I just… you make this all worth it." Came Beca's muffled reply, the younger woman squeezing Chloe even tighter as she spoke. "Every time I think of what I'm doing I hate myself, and I just want my life to go back to the way it was before, but then I see you… you just look at me or smile at me and all the bad feelings go away and you make everything good, even if it is just for a while." She confessed sombrely.

"I guess we have that in common then." Chloe agreed, knowing only too well the feeling of hatred that instantly seemed to simmer into nothing when she as much as heard Beca's voice. "Though, no more of this pity party, when I said party I meant a real one. Get me popcorn and wine glasses." She demanded suddenly, her previous enthusiasm back in her voice as she shook Beca off her. "My plan for tonight is to lie on that couch with you, watch DVD's, drink this bottle of wine and eat some popcorn… if something happens, it happens, if not, it doesn't and both are fine." She told the other woman sternly, looking Beca dead in the eye as she spoke.

"You really are great, you know that right?" Beca laughed, shaking her head at Chloe's enthusiasm for their night.

"So I'm told." Chloe replied with a genuine smile, kissing Beca firmly on her forehead once more before moving past her, making a bee line for the couch. "Next time I see you it better be with wine glasses." She called over her shoulder, never looking back as she opened the living room door.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They got to the second episode of season three – deciding to skip one and two seasons for timing reasons – before they began to lose interest in the TV screen. They'd been doing so well at the start, being happy merely sitting together, one hand holding their wine glasses and the other resting casually by their sides. They'd not even really seen it coming, the first move having been made by Chloe by accident when she'd placed her hand over Beca's fingers by mistake, both women paying little heed to the casual touch as they both began to automatically toy with one another's fingers.

Then it had started to progress, Chloe's hand trailing up and down Beca's arm, eventually raking in through her hair, brushing strands of it out of the younger woman's face as Beca continued to watch the screen – Chloe by this point having lost interest, though she could quote along with each episode anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Eventually Beca returned the eye contact and smiled at her, reaching up to pull the re head's hand out of her hair and kissing it softly, letting herself lean into Chloe's side, and placing the hand she was holding around her shoulders, wrapping her own arm around Chloe's waist as she turned her attention back to the screen.

By episode three things had begun to escalate and they found themselves no longer paying much attention to the screen at all, Beca having managed to move so she was now sitting across Chloe's lap, tracing patterns with her lips along the side of the red heads jaw and ear with the older woman leaning into the soft light kisses, her hands tracing their own patterns in Beca's back.

"You know, I'm pretty sure I know every word in this episode anyway." Beca murmured eventually, having just quoted one of Chandler's monologues into Chloe's ear causing the other woman to giggle. "I mean could I_ need_ any more reason not to pay attention to the screen anymore." She added, emphasising the word "need" to sound like Chandler with desired effect as Chloe again was resolved into giggles.

"You're so adorable." Chloe informed the brunette on her lap, tilting her head to capture Beca's lips in a soft kiss, smiling against the other woman's mouth as Beca returned it tenderly, bringing her hand up to run along Chloe's jaw, stopping when she reached her ear and flicking it hard. "Ouch!" Chloe gasped, pulling back from the kiss and cradling her ear. "What was that for?" She huffed.

"I'm not adorable… I'm really tough and badass!" Beca corrected her, scrunching up her face in an attempt to look intimidating. "Now come here, I'm going to be all domineering and show you what I mean!" She added, smiling in spite of her façade as Chloe quirked an eyebrow at her, leaning in to recapture the red head's lips to cover her break in character.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"I want pizza…" Chloe mumbled sometime later on – and half ways through the seventh episode, though they'd long since lost count – both women now lying side by side on the couch exchanging playful and teasing kisses and occasional conversation, Chloe missing her trousers and Beca having lost her top somewhere along the way, both of them now sporting the bed head look in spite of the lack of bed.

"Well then, pizza you shall get." Beca winked, reaching down to the floor and groping about for a moment, finally drawing her hand back up when she'd located her phone and tucking it back between her and Chloe's warm bodies, scrolling through her contacts until she found the number for the closest take away.

She dialled and placed the order quickly – knowing by heart the only kind of pizza Chloe would eat was chicken and sweet corn – throwing her phone haphazardly back on the floor and curling her hand back around Chloe's waist when she was done.

"Five minutes." Beca mumbled into Chloe's lips, wasting no time in re-joining them. "Now let me work up your appetite." She added with a coy smile, flipping the pair over quickly so Chloe was beneath her.

It wasn't five minutes though, in fact it only seemed like a few seconds had passed by the time the doorbell rang out through the house.

"Damn, that is speedy." Chloe panted slightly, only registering the sound of the bell when Beca pulled away from her and slid off her to the side of the couch, pulling on her top. "Hurry up, I want my food." She added, watching as the shorter woman stood, fixing the t-shirt.

Beca smiled wordlessly at her and shot her a quick wink before half running towards the door, not even bothering to check the peep hole as she swung it open, revealing someone who most certainly wasn't the pizza guy.

"Suzanne!" Beca greeted almost too enthusiastically, eyes widening to alarming rates at the site of Adam's friends mother standing on the other side of her door, never having been overly fond of the prudish woman. "Is everything okay? Is Adam okay?" She questioned, suddenly realizing there was probably a very good reason she was standing there.

"He was feeling ill and wanted to go home, he's in the car I was just making sure there was someone home first before making him walk up the drive in his pyjamas." The beady eyed middle aged woman replied matter of factly. "Are you okay though Beca?" She questioned then, giving Beca's flustered appearance the once over, obviously smelling the gossip.

"I'm uh yea… fine, just watching some TV." She replied, not actually lying, simply leaving out the fact that she had company, not that her concealment lasted very long.

"Beca come on, I may actually starve if… oh." Chloe paused mid-sentence, appearing form the living room having thankfully pulled on her sweats again before coming to investigate where the brunette had gone, not having expected to find her with company. "Hi." She greeted, recovering quickly form the shock in true Chloe style.

"Hello there." Suzanne greeted, also feeling the need to give Chloe's dishevelled form the once over, causing Beca to wince internally. "I'm sorry; I don't think we've met?" She added with a smile that had been rehearsed a thousand times to hide a look of judgement.

"I'm Beca's friend… Chloe." The red head introduced, stepping forward cautiously and shooting a worried glance at Beca before accepting the woman's outstretched hand.

"Pleasure I'm sure." Suzanne replied crisply, showing no sign of positive of negative emotion in how she spoke. "I'll just go get Adam out of the car, I'm sure we can organize a new date some other time." She informed Beca then, dropping Chloe's hand quickly and turning on her heel without another word towards her soccer mom minivan in the drive.

"Quick, go to my room." Beca whispered frantically the second she was sure the other woman was out of ear shot. "We're going to end up there tonight sometime anyway and I don't want Adam to see you, he might mention it to Jesse." She explained hastily, feeling her gut churn at the first thought of her husband all night.

Chloe nodded simply, trying not to be hurt by Beca's realistic take on the situation as she fled quickly to the room, picking up her shoes along the way and lying herself out on the bed carefully once she was there, picking the middle as she wasn't sure which side was Jesse's and it felt weird to think she could be lying in his space.

Of course Beca wouldn't want her to see Adam, the young boy would probably tell his father that Chloe was there and that would just create problems, but there was still something about the situation that stung her.

She was Beca's secret. She was Beca's dirty little secret. She'd never considered herself like this before, not fully anyway, but she was, she was Beca's other woman, her bit on the side. She was completely separate form Beca's real life. She'd never come over at weekends to hang out with the brunette and her son, she'd never go out for meals with Beca for fear they'd be spotted holding hands by someone that Jesse knew, she'd never even get to spend an entire weekend with Beca unless Jesse's business trips dictated that they could and Adam happened to be gone. She was literally nothing but the mistress that gets frowned upon by every sector of society.

She was so wrapped up in these morbid unkind thoughts that she didn't even hear Beca creep into the room ten minutes later, having put Adam to bed and told him to call if he needed anything, and still remained unaware of her presence until she felt a weight crawl up her legs and rest in her lap.

"Now I have you right where I want you." Beca whispered seductively against the lobe of Chloe's ear, trailing her tongue along the red heads jaw and over to her lips, kissing her for a moment before she realized the other woman wasn't kissing her back. "What's wrong?" She questioned softly, pulling her face back enough to look Chloe in the eye.

"I'm your piece on the side." Chloe sighed, feeling a lump rise in her throat when she said it aloud that she swallowed quickly. "And don't try and say that I'm not because you love me or whatever, because the truth of the matter is you love Jesse as well, and you love Adam more than both of us and you'd never in your life do anything to hurt that little boy, intentionally or otherwise, so that's all I'm ever going to be and… Jesus I guess this all just dawned on me all of a sudden." She explained, not daring to look Beca in the eye as she expected the worst.

"I'm going to tell Jesse we're hanging out again." Beca confessed softly, her voice not seeming hurt or angry as Chloe had expected it to. "I'm not going to tell him about this, but I'm going to tell him we're still friends, because everything you said is true… except one thing, us being in a relationship would never hurt Adam. He has a mom and a dad that love him, and if he had an Aunt Chloe that loved him too then that'd just be more love for him and that's what every kid needs."

"Beca you need to think about this, you can't be serious here." Chloe reasoned, hating herself for extinguishing her own flicker of hope, but hating Beca even more for creating it in the first place.

"I am." Beca told her firmly, rolling off her now so she was lying by her side. "When Peter's mom came to drop Adam home I didn't want to hide you. I wanted you to be able to stay and play with Adam because last time you did he talked about his new red haired friend for days. I just can't yet, and me telling you that I want to be with you doesn't mean it'll happen tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, but it does mean that it'll happen eventually because I can't deal with this lying. I can't deal with hurting Jesse like this, and potentially ruining his life and my son's life completely if this comes out in the wrong way, and I can't deal with hurting you like this anymore either. So I'm not promising a quick fix solution, but I am promising that I'll get there eventually, because I hate being the monster in all of this Chloe… I hate it and I need to stop it."

"You know I can't let myself believe that until it actually happens." Chloe murmured softly, knowing it would only end badly for her.

"I know… and I don't want you to either. You don't need to accept my promise, just know it's there." Beca replied with a faint smile, her hand reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair out of Chloe's face. "Now what do you want to do, have me show you how much I mean to you, or wait on the pizza and have me show you later." She asked; her attempt at turning the mood jovial again working to some extent as Chloe smiled faintly.

"Well it's bad to do exercise on a full stomach, so now for sure… then maybe later again." The red head reasoned, pulling Beca's face towards her own and pushing her negative thoughts to the back of her mind.

_This is more than love  
the reason that the sky is blue…_


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer…_

"So anyway, fill me in. How wonderful was Dallas?" Beca questioned with a small smile, letting herself fall into the couch across from the seat Jesse was sitting in, having just said goodnight to Adam and now fully intent on talking to her husband, who'd returned several hours previously from his trip.

"Well the idea I've been working on for two months actually got picked up for a change, so pretty damn good actually." Jesse told her, grinning broadly at his achievement. "Though I know how much you adore being bored with the fascinating details of my job… so moving a long, how were things here?" He asked then chuckling at the appreciative smile his wife shot him, relieved she wasn't about to be forced through another description of how exactly he pitched his adds.

"Fine." Beca replied quickly, wincing at her own hasty reply, knowing that his question would have been the perfect opportunity to admit to seeing Chloe.

"Oh good, I missed nothing too exciting then." Jesse laughed, shaking his head at his wife's dismissal of the question.

"Actually…" Beca stammered, sourcing half an ounce of courage somewhere deep in her chest that actually willed her to speak. "While you were gone Chloe was over." She spat out, her words being jumbled together, believing that the quicker she said them the quicker the band aid would be ripped off so to say.

"What?" Jesse retorted cooly, his previous jovial expression going blank, no visible emotion now being shown on his face or hinted in his voice.

"I yea… she was over, we watched DVD's and had pizza." Beca found herself elaborating; nodding her head as she spoke to confirm what she said was true; feeling a knot twist inside her as she omitted a pretty key detail of Chloe's visit.

"I thought we agreed you'd stop seeing her?" Jesse questioned, obviously having had all the time he needed to process what his wife just said as he continued speaking without giving her time to answer, his voice gradually beginning to rise but never quite reaching a shouting pitch, aware that his son was asleep down the hall. "Why would you lie about this again? I mean I'm your husband Beca I really don't understand why you continue to keep this from me. I don't know why you're constantly sneaking around to see this woman, I mean it's the one thing I've asked of you is not to see her." He lectured, hovering at the edge of his seat by the time he was done speaking.

"I know… and I'm sorry." Beca told him truthfully; genuinely sorry for what she was doing, even if he didn't know the full extent of it. "But you need to understand, she's my friend, and I'm not going to stop seeing her because you don't like her." She added in a strong even tone.

"Jesus Christ Beca this is not okay! You need to wake up and smell the fucking coffee, what you're doing is underhand and it's lying and the whole reason you're doing it is because of her, how can you not see that?" He seethed, now having stood out of the chair to continue his rant, ignoring completely the pained look in Beca's eyes at his harsh words. "I mean for fuck sakes, based on principal alone you must know somewhere deep down that this lying to me is wrong and even if you don't, which apparently is the case, you were able to manage for five years without her, I don't see what the hell has changed?" He raged.

"No I wasn't…" Beca whispered in spite of herself, tears glimmering in her eyes as the sudden intensity of the conversation caught her current fragile state of mind off guard.

"What do you mean you weren't?" Jesse snapped, still feeling all kinds of urges to shout at his wife. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"There was something missing." She cried, unshed tears starting to cloud her vision, something she was unintentionally grateful for as she desperately tried to avoid the hurt expression she knew would slowly be setting on her husband's face. "For five years there was something… not quite there." She admitted softly, having gone a lot further with this conversation than she'd ever intended.

"Beca… tell me what you mean." Jesse demanded slowly, anger having drained from his voice to be replaced with dread, some gut instinct deep inside him telling him where this conversation was going.

Beca blinked a few times and tears began to fall, rolling slowly down her cheek, the left one first then the right. She couldn't do it at first, but eventually, once the tears were falling freely enough to clear her vision, lifted her head to look Jesse in the eye, using all her resolve not to simply look away again when she saw it. Saw the fear and hurt in his eyes, before she'd even spoke.

"I love her." She heard herself say, the cracked and broken voice not sounding like her own, not even feeling like her own as she failed to feel her vocal cords quiver, imagining it were coming from someone else, like she couldn't have said the words aloud.

She wasn't sure how long the silence that followed lasted for. All she knew was she couldn't look Jesse in the eye the entire time, the point when she was sure she saw the light in his eyes go out being the moment she had to look away, feeling her own heart tear apart at the screaming silence going on around her.

"Does she uh…" He tried eventually, Beca not being able to contain a whimper when she heard the lifeless and broken voice that spoke to her and faltered half way unable to continue.

"She knows." Beca again heard the voice that sounded like her say, still feeling as if the entire situation was an out of body experience, also noticing for the first time that she was standing, unsure of when or how that had happened. "And before you ask… yea… she uh, she feels the same." She eventually managed to clarify, knowing that would be the next question and unsure if she'd be able to deal with answering it if she had to hear Jesse ask.

Again there was a silence, this time as Jesse's mind went into overdrive. He knew what this meant, of course he did. He'd been foolish enough when he was younger to cheat on the woman that stood before him so he knew what the sneaking around was like. He wondered then if this is how Beca had felt when he'd done it to her back in college? Like her soul had been ripped out and stood on, and everything she knew had been swept out from under her feet. He doubted it somehow. In college they'd been young and foolish and entirely unsure what true love really was.

He'd eventually found it though, allowed himself to grow with Beca and with Adam and realize what it was like to really love someone, and he'd presumed that Beca had gone through the same journey with him, their ups and downs together leading them to love stronger and better each day they had together.

He thought that maybe the realization that the journey he'd went through in accepting his love for Beca was one sided was the thing that hurt him most. The notion that everything he felt for her was exactly what she felt for someone else killing him inside. He was sure she loved him somewhere deep down, otherwise she'd never have married him, otherwise he wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes right now, but even this notion failed to comfort him in the slightest. All he knew was that he loved her more than nineteen year old Jesse would ever have thought possible, and he wasn't ready to give up on that, even if she was.

"We're married Beca. We have a son, a life together… a joint bank account." Jesse reminded her, emphasising all the basic aspects he could think of that made them a couple, made them together and by every reasonable definition in his mind "in love" with one another.

"I know." Beca agreed absently, her own mind having begun to shut itself down, her body obviously trying its best to protect her from the unbearable pain she was feeling, so much so she was almost sure it was physical. "I know." She repeated, finally daring to look him in the eye again, unable to look away as she found herself morbidly mesmerised by the empty brown eyes that met her gaze.

"There's a line in the sand Beca." Jesse told her then, keeping his voice even as he willed himself to maintain eye contact. "You cross it and you get Chloe, but you'll be walking away from everything we've spent the last five years building… it's up to you." He informed her, not giving her a chance to reply as he turned on his heel and left, not being able to stand looking at the woman he'd thought he knew any longer.

"A line in the sand." Beca repeated to the empty room several moments later, only now finding herself come out of her daze, a cyclone of emotions wreaking havoc in her head as she sat back down on the couch, knowing she had to think through every possible result before taking a step in either direction.

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun  
And put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore, anymore._


	10. Chapter 10

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun  
And put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore, anymore_

"It's been a week Aubrey." The sentence was short and to the point, and not the "hello how are you" greeting the blonde was used to getting when her best friend called, knowing in an instant now would be a good time to put down the knife she was using to cut vegetables, for fear her brand new kitchen presses would meet a very nasty end.

"Tell me everything." Aubrey sighed simply, seating herself at the kitchen table and moving her work documents out of the way so she could rest her elbows on the black wooden board.

"There's nothing new to tell, that's the problem." Chloe spat in frustration, sure she was at this point wearing a hole in her living room carpet as she continued to pace in front of her couch, afraid if she stopped she'd punch a hole in something with all the pent up frustration she'd been feeling for the past few days. "I mean I knew her telling Jesse wouldn't go over very well, but she was only telling him we were friends, I don't get why the fuck she hasn't called or texted or anything? I mean what if she realized I wasn't worth it? What if she's got cold feet again? Jesus fucking Christ I bet she's gone and gotten cold feet again, I bet that's it… fuck it anyway." Chloe rambled hysterically, her best friend never having heard the blonde swear so frequently in one sentence.

"Chloe honey you need to calm down a little." Aubrey told her firmly, not sure if this was even possible at this point, but not particularly wanting her best friend to have some kind of seizure either. "She lied to her husband; things are probably just a little rough right now. I'm sure if you call her you'll be surprised at how wrong you are about all of this." She tried to reason, not sure if she even believed what she was saying, but figuring it was worth a try.

"Call her…. Well thank you Captain Obvious for that one. I have called her, I've called her twice in fact and I've text her god only knows how many damn time's but she just keeps ignoring me, but all the same, thank you for your completely irrelevant and useless suggestion, as if I hadn't thought of it before now." The red head snapped, eyes instantly growing when she realized what she'd just said and who she was talking to. "… Sorry I… I'm just such a fucking mess right now aren't I?" She relented, raking a hand through her hair and giving one last sigh of resignation before tossing herself onto the couch, suddenly having lost all previous energy reserves.

"It's fine, after nine years of friendship I think it's about time you were the one having the breakdown." Aubrey laughed softly, knowing her best friend didn't mean what she said and also knowing that the usually composed red head needed to vent at some point in her life – she just hopped she didn't have a vomiting instinct as well. "Just count your lucky stars I'm not there right now or I'd have the hobbit dead and buried by now for being such a tool." She added, trying pass her comment off as jovial but sensing that she failed, feeling rage boil up in the pit of her stomach, beyond the point of being merely pissed off at the way Beca seemed to be continually fucking Chloe over.

"Yea… I figured you'd be angrier about this than me." Chloe laughed softly, knowing her friend wasn't joking but not being able to help the watery smile that brightened her face momentarily, feeling somewhat comforted by the overprotective blonde.

"Damn right I am. I'm sick of her shit and I will fly back there and beat her with a stick of she doesn't contact you within the next week." Aubrey promised, meaning every word of what she said.

"It's okay Bree really, I just needed to rant." Chloe sighed then, being hit once more with how real the situation was when Aubrey implied it could be another week or longer before she got any form or contact from the brunette. "Really I knew this whole thing was too good to be true anyway." She added mournfully.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Mom… are you and dad fighting?" Adam's innocent voice questioned as Beca hunkered before him in his room, fixing the collar on his shirt before school.

Beca's breath hitched in her throat in spite of herself as she looked up from the checked collar to meet the young boys eyes, which were the exact same shade of blue as her own. She really had thought they'd managed to keep the tension in the air to a minimum around Adam for the past week, though apparently it really was true what they say about kids picking up on everything.

"You know how sometimes you and Peter fight?" Beca questioned softly, waiting for the young boy to nod his head silently before she continued, hoping this was the most understandable way for her to explain the situation to him. "Well sometimes grown-ups fight too, except because we're older and bigger and stuff our fights last longer… but just like how you and Peter are always friends the next day, even when grown-ups fight we're always friends again eventually." She tried her best to clarify.

"So you and dad will be friends again soon… and being all icky and kissing and stuff?" Adam queried, his youthful innocence and blissfully ignorant input to the situation breaking Beca's heart.

"We'll be friend soon." Beca promised, swallowing hard to get rid of the lump rapidly forming in her throat.

"Mom… I love you, and I love dad." Adam told her, continuing unexpectedly just as Beca was about to reassure him that she knew this. "But you guys make each other sad… and my teacher said if someone makes you sad you should stop talking to them and talk to someone who makes you happy instead, because no one should be sad." He tried to explain, his concern for his mother blowing Beca away.

"You know buddy, you hold onto that logic okay… because it'll help you out of a lot of sticky situations when you're a grown-up like me." Beca told her son, ruffling his hair as she fought the almost overwhelming urge to simply let the budding tears roll down her face; instead wiping them away furiously when Adam wasn't looking. "Now come on, we don't want you being late." She added with an overly enthusiastic grin, kissing him softly on the forehead as she stood up.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Beca waited until her son was safely inside the four walls of the school building before finally letting the tears fall, letting her head fall back against the headrest of her car and feeling them quickly begin to roll down her face as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her text messages.

"_Hey, how'd it go?"_

"_Beca, you okay?"_

"_Please just answer my calls, has something happened?"_

All from Chloe, all sent in the last week and each of them breaking her heart a little more as she, not for the first time, realized what she was doing to the red head by ignoring her. Finally her thumb scrolled over the most recent text, one she'd received last night, just as she was about to fall into yet another cold and empty slumber on the couch bed in the spare room.

"_I presume I'm not even worthy of a goodbye then?"_

It was simple, it was cold, it was final and it was defeated and it left Beca with an emptiness in her chest that made her feel as if someone had ripped out her heart and left the cavity open for the cold air to get at. She didn't even realize how much she was crying until a tear hit the screen, and when she noticed it she didn't even try and stop more from joining it until all of a sudden the screen lit up and began to ring, indicating an incoming call. The number wasn't familiar but she pulled herself together and answered anyway, knowing some producers changed cells on a regular basis.

"Hello?" She managed, confident that her voice didn't sound as broken as she felt in that moment.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Came Aubreys frosty greeting from the other end of the line; hearing the harsh words of the blonde instantly chilling Beca to the core.

"Aubrey please…" Beca tried desperately, feeling her emotions flare again as she knew what she was in for from the older woman.

"No, I will not please you in any way Beca. I will not listen to your lame ass excuses and I will not leave you alone to deal with this yourself because you're fucking up Mitchell, you're fucking up big time and I am one plane ticket away from burying you in a shallow grave in the middle of a heavily wooded area." She threatened, her voice laced with a hatred Beca had never heard before, even in her early days in the Bella's.

"I know I'm fucking up, I just don't know what to do." Beca cried, tears in free-fall again as she was dealt a harsh reality check from someone's point of view but her own. "If I follow my heart I fuck everything up with my family and if I follow my head I fuck everything up with Chloe…. I haven't given up on her, or moved on, or decided to stay with Jesse. All I've really decided for now is that I'm staying with Adam, and I'm just hoping the rest begins to make sense eventually." She told the other woman in a rush, afraid she'd be interrupted and actually shocked when she managed to make it to the end of her speech.

"Yea, I hear you, and yet I don't care." Came Aubreys crisp reply. "I know in some segment if your obviously underdeveloped mind you think that by doing what's best you're being some kind of great martyr and that everything will just work itself out if you throw all your energy and devotion into raising Adam, but here's a news flash Mithcell, it won't. You're going to wake up in fourteen years and realize you're precious little boy's an adult with his own life, and you're miserable and alone because your husband still hates you for how you broke his heart and because you let the woman you love slip away from you over and over again and you know what, you'll deserve it." Aubrey spat, knowing that the painful truth was her only option at this point. "You'll deserve it because if you don't man up now and do not just what's right for you, but what's right for everyone, and go one way or another, either put Chloe out of her misery or your husband, because doing what's right isn't always the easy thing to do, and sometimes it's not even the most responsible thing to do, but it's the best thing to do, and it's what the people you love deserve. Follow your gut Beca or so help me god I'll rip it out of you." She concluded, inhaling sharply to replenish her depleting oxygen levels.

"I'd say you make it sound so easy… but you don't." Beca sighed, knowing in the pit of her stomach the other woman was right, and hating her for it.

"Just make a choice Beca, and make the right one." Aubrey told her sternly before the line went dead.

_And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer  
A murderer, no no no  
Yeah_


	11. Chapter 11

_And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer  
A murderer, no no no  
Yeah_

She drove around town for about half an hour mulling over what Aubrey had said to her – or rather shouted at her. By the time she pulled up in front of a familiar building she knew in her head and she knew in her heart that what she was doing was right, simply hoping that everyone affected by her decision would come to agree with her on that.

Beca knew as she walked towards the door of the house she'd lived in for the past five years that what she was about to do needed to be done, it was the right thing, and it was best for everyone in her life, especially Adam, who in spite of what Aubrey said to her was still her main priority in every decision she made.

"Jesse?" She called firmly once she shut the front door behind her, knowing now was no time for weakness.

"Kitchen." Was the snappy reply she received, though she didn't allow it to throw her, having expected nothing more. "Adam get to school okay?" He asked crisply once she appeared in front of him, not quite making eye contact as he looked up at her.

"We need to talk." Beca replied instead, not letting her mind veer of subject even for a second. "We need to talk Jesse." She repeated again, this time having the desired effect as her husband finally met her eye.

"No, you need to talk Beca. I think no matter which way this speech goes all I can do is listen." He sighed.

"You're right." Beca agreed, sitting at the table beside him and taking his hand in her own. "Everything you've said to me in the past week has been right. I either get this life I have now, or I get a new, scary life with Chloe. I know that, I think I've always known that, I was just trying to work out a way of getting round it. Of still having you and finding a way to have Chloe as well… But I couldn't. Try as I may I couldn't figure out how to get this master plan of mine to work and because of that I was left with your ultimatum; a line in the sand and I had to choose my fate." She sighed with a watery smile, looking up form here she was holding his hand now in both of her own to look him in the eye. "You know I love you right?" She asked softly.

"Yea… Yea I do." Jesse whispered in return, breaking eye contact with her to look down at their clasped hands, not wanting her to see him shed a tear.

"Then you know." Beca told him in a broken tone. "You know why I can't bring myself to hurt you like this when I'm not _in_ love with you. You know that she's… she's the real love of my life Jesse. She completes me in ways I wish you could, I really do, and I am so, so sorry you don't, I truly am, but you need to understand she's everything that's been missing from my life and more…otherwise I'd never do this to you." She promised, voice breaking as too did her heart.

"There's nothing I can say to convince you to stay?" He said then, his tone not so much questioning as it was a simple understanding that he was defeated, none the less waiting for Beca to shake her head before continuing. "Beca I love you; in fact I'm in love with you in a way I wish you were for me, but you're not, so I'm not going to stop you, even though I want to I won't… Go get her." He told her sadly, the strain in his voice indicating he didn't mean what he said yet he so desperately wanted to.

"Jesse I…" Beca interjected, not sure where the sentence was leading, but knowing he didn't mean what he said.

"Honestly Beca… I knew this was coming. I knew you'd chose her. I was hoping you wouldn't, hoping you'd pick me instead, but there was always part of me that knew what we had wasn't real… wasn't just one hundred per cent there. I think I always knew a day like this would come… I guess I just thought I'd get to spend more time with you first." He told her, honest this time with Beca and with himself. "So go get her, before all this is for nothing." He pushed again, this time even attempting a smile, which fell short in spite of his heartfelt speech.

"You're a better man than I ever deserved Jesse." Beca told him sincerely, giving his hand one final squeeze before letting go and standing up. "You're going to find someone and they're going to be everything that you deserve." She added.

"She'd want to be." Jesse sighed, only half joking though his eyes still managed to flash playfully at Beca as she left the room, waiting until he was sure she was gone before the last of his resolve crumbled and he began to mourn in peace everything he'd just lost.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Standing outside Chloe's apartment door she knew what she had to do, she simply idea how she was going to go about doing it. She'd knocked, figuring no matter what her plan was it had to start with her making actual human contact with Chloe, but from there on in she really was at a loss.

She had time to ponder what she'd say, or more specifically how she'd grovel, but found herself instead thinking further ahead than she should be and further back than she should be, remembering everything that had led to this moment and imagining everything that could come after. She was actually about to leave when she finally heard movement within the apartment – having figured that contrary to her own narcissistic belief's people did have a life outside her and that maybe, just maybe, Chloe was at work on this Wednesday morning.

"Hold on, hold on!" Came the shouts from beyond the door, and as the voice became louder so too did the muffled banging and rustling from inside causing Beca to smirk. Eventually she heard a key scrape in the lock on the other side and a bolt be undone, the door swinging open to reveal a flustered looking Chloe, clad in only a towel around her mid-section, and one wrapping up her hair.

"Beca." The red head stated, staring blankly at the woman on the other side of the door. "What…" She began dumbly.

"It's done. It's done it's over it's done. I left him Chloe, and it was the most horrible and heart-breaking thing I've ever had to do in my life but I done it, and I done it for you. For you and for me and for the future I want us to have, because I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone." Beca confessed, tears welling in her eyes as she stood rooted to the spot, just outside Chloe's home. "And I get it if you scream at me and make me walk away, because I'll get it if I've screwed you over too many times for this to be real to you but just know, you own my heart, you've always owned my heart and now I'm free to spend every minute for the rest of my life showing you that if you'll let me." She finished, letting out a long breath.

The red head didn't reply. She didn't think she could. She didn't think there were any words left to express to the petite brunette how she felt, so instead she showed her, pulling her across the threshold of her house and into her arms, managing in her haste to swing the door shut behind her as she let her lips embrace Beca's, welcoming her home.

The kiss was rough and passionate and fierce with desire and before long it was Chloe that found herself pinned between a wall and the other woman's body, her damp hair having come free from the towel and the one that had covered her body having come free in a similar fashion, not that she minded. She was quick to shed Beca's layers, wanting the other girl to catch up with her, but stopped what they were doing just as Beca's lips began to trail a line down along Chloe's neck.

"This needs to be special." She moaned out, pushing the shorter woman away lightly and entwining their fingers quickly, half running with Beca to her bedroom, laying her softly on the bed. "I need this to be special." She added, crawling up the other womans body slowly, leaving a trail of kisses from her abdomen to her puckered lips as she went.

It was special and that night for the first time in a very, very long time Beca felt like she was making love. Not just routine as it had been with Jesse, and not just sex or lust as it had previously been with Chloe. As their bodies moved rhythmically, their pace being found almost right away, Beca for the first time felt home as her hand slid into Chloe's wetness and their bodies moulded as one. She felt acceptance in each touch and in each moan that touch ignited, and as they lay together after what felt like hours, their bodies still undetectable under the sheets Beca knew for the first time without doubt that what she'd done was right, and what she'd done was what she'd been meant to do from the very start.

"I love you Chloe Beale." The shorter woman whispered, her words bouncing off Chloe's chest as she lay against it, the sound sending vibrations right into Chloe's chest.

"I love you too Beca Mitchell." Chloe whispered back, true joy for the first time feeling a genuine part of her as she let sleep engulf her body where it lay, wrapped in Beca's arms forever.


	12. Epilogue

"Mom when's dad getting here?" Adam shouted through the house, walking into the kitchen to find his mother holding his three year old sister, Ayva, in her arms, trying to get the toddler to eat some grapes.

"I dunno sweetie, he was talking to Chloe today, not me." Beca replied, smiling at her son as he huffed out a frustrated breath and continued his journey through the house in search of the red headed woman.

"Chloe?" Adam shouted, finally finding her in his younger brother's room, his adoptive mother being in the process of picking out something for one year old Mason to wear. "You know when dad's getting here for my party?" He questioned.

"Uh… he said on the phone earlier he'd be here at three, he's just picking Jack up from day-care and Lisa from work first." Chloe informed her son, referring to Adam's half-brother and other step mother. "Now, you want to take Mason to the kitchen and I'll give your Aunt Aubrey a call to see where she is?" The red head added, handing the young child off to his older brother, much to the infants delight as he started clapping and giggling the second he realized who was holding him.

"Thanks mom." Adam smiled enthusiastically, turning quickly and rushing out of the room to see how the plans for his tenth birthday were coming along.

Chloe sighed in contentment as she rose from her youngest son's bedroom floor, watching as her two boys left and marvelling at how quickly they'd both grown, Adam especially. The past six years had been all she could have asked for and more, with the boy accepting her into his life almost immediately as her place in his biological mother's life quickly became a permanent one.

She, Beca and Jesse had of course had to talk about her place in Adams life, and at first it had been difficult, Jesse still not fully willing to accept that his son would naturally come to see Chloe as a mother figure. Time really did make it easier though, and six years on everything really had just fallen into place. Chloe wasn't always called mom, but then neither was Jesse's new wife Lisa, whom he'd met a year and a half after his divorce from Beca. Instead she got a mix of Chloe, Aunty Chloe and yes, occasionally mom, the young boy never having been officially told what he was to call her, and simply figuring it out for himself on a day to day bases.

The fact that no one had wanted to make the separation difficult on the boy had also helped, and eventually the relationship between Beca and Jesse had mended, things taking a little more time between Jesse and Chloe, but really it was after Jack and Ayva were born, less than six months apart, that everything was truly put to rest and they really did start to function as some form of family unit.

"Hey Aubrey, you on your way?" Chloe questioned into the phone, having hit speed dial two once Adam and Mason had left to check up on her best friend's whereabouts.

"Yes don't worry Benji and I are just leaving now." Aubrey told the red head, supressing an eye roll as she closed her front door behind her on the way to her car.

"And my itty bitty godson?" Chloe questioned, face crinkling happily at the thought of Aubreys three month old son Scott.

"Oh no Chloe, we decided to leave the three month old home alone for the day." Aubrey retorted with an internal eye roll this time, sliding herself into the driving seat – her compulsion to have control of every situation reaching a lot further than the Bella's – as Benji strapped their son into his seat in the back.

"You've been spending too much time with my wife." Chloe shot back, now walking out of the room to find Beca before guests started to arrive.

"That's what happens when I end up in LA… I get Mithcell'ed." Aubrey informed her best friend with a dramatized shudder.

Aubrey ending up in LA definitely hadn't been intentional. She'd never really known Benji when he'd been Jesse's roommate in college, but had met him again at Beca and Chloe's wedding almost five years ago – Jesse having needed some moral support as his ex-wife married a lesbian – and had hit it off after that, having kept in touch even when she went home again and Benji stayed in LA. They'd reunited a year later at Jesse and Lisa's wedding and this time after a year of doing the whole long distance thing had finally decided to try and make it work properly.

It had been a shock to everyone, including Aubrey, when it had been the blonde that had moved her offices to LA rather than have Benji move to her, claiming it was mainly because she wanted to be there when Chloe had Mason so she could be the person to spoil him most – which she most certainly was. Now though they had a family of their own, and although Aubrey would never admit it she did kind of like the sunshine.

"I'm not letting you coin that term… My wife's ego is large enough." Chloe laughed, just as she wrapped an arm around Beca's waist and smiled as the shorter woman quirked a questioning eyebrow.

"All of a sudden she becomes a big shot music producer and the fame goes to her head. I understand; I'll keep quiet." Aubrey smirked.

"Thank you." Chloe smiled through the phone. "I'll see you in about fifteen minutes." She added then, waiting until the blonde bode her farewell for the time being before hanging up and giving her undivided attention to her wife.

"My ego?" Beca questioned immediately, placing her hands on Chloe's hips as the red head snaked hers around Beca's waist and locked her fingers over her wife's back.

"Mhm… Suddenly you're creating and producing all these big hits. I have to keep you grounded and all that, ya know." Chloe teased, kissing the top of her wife's nose lightly.

"I'm pretty sure I worked hard enough for that break, without having my darling wife burst my bubble whenever it gets too inflated." Beca murmured against the skin of Chloe's cheek.

"Oh god, you're getting into the whole how you worked your way up through the industry monologue." Chloe giggled. "It's only a matter of time before you forget about me completely and move to Milan or Miami or somewhere more exotic like that to surround yourself with bitches and what not." She added, feigning hurt.

"Fat chance of me forgetting about you." Beca whispered, letting her lips trail up Chloe's jaw to her ear, biting down on it softly.

"Hey Beca… where's the kids?" Chloe whimpered; her grip on her wife tightening as Beca went straight for her weak spot.

"Adams room looking at his presents…Why?" she murmured huskily, her breath hot against Chloe's inner ear.

"I think I may need you to show me that you'll never forget me." She moaned throatily, backing her wife against the kitchen counter and attaching their lips.


End file.
